


The Time Traveller's Disaster

by KatiesGhost



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 90s, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Butterfly Effect, Fluff, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romantic Comedy, Slow Burn, Time Travel, ben is a disaster, benarmie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-04-17 14:37:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 42,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14191170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatiesGhost/pseuds/KatiesGhost
Summary: Ben Solo has to go back in time to save his high school crush, Armitage Hux, from a disastrous future. The only problem is that he's the worst time traveller there ever was.





	1. The one with the time travelling.

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, big thank you to [Harlan Hardway](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Target44/pseuds/Harlanhardway) for listening to my rambling about this fic and for helping me with coming up with headcanons for these two weirdos you're going to meet. And to [Ellstra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellstra/works) for betaing it! 
> 
> Additional notes:  
> Ben finds out that Hux died and goes back to the past so he could save him from this future. Therefore, Hux is alive for the whole story, so don't worry! It has a happy ending! <3

It was raining. The raindrops softly pattered against the windows of Ben’s apartment as he was browsing the internet. He had a long week and since it was Friday, he was very happy to be at home with nothing else to do. Finally. There was nothing better than a weekend ahead of him and an opened beer in his hand.

He was scrolling down his Facebook newsfeed, rolling his eyes at his friends getting hitched and having kids. He knew that it was only normal; actually, it was more than normal since he was already thirty-seven and not getting any younger. And they weren’t really his friends so why did he even care? Well, most of them weren’t.

Ben sighed and took a swig of his beer.

He had never been very good with relationships. His last one ended a week ago and it wasn’t even that long. Most of his relationship ended quickly or badly or both. He didn’t really care, he wasn’t the type who would want to get married anyway. But his mother cared and his father too. And they were always ready to tell him.

They wanted grandchildren and Ben wanted– well, not that.

His phone vibrated on the table next to his laptop and he groaned as the chat window popped up on his web browser too.

He shut the message down, not wanting to deal with people at the moment, and wanted to get up from the table and get a fresh beer, when he hit the refresh button by mistake and frowned.

 

_ HOT NEWS: Pittsburgh police finds a dead body under the Fort Pit Bridge. Click for more details! _

 

Ben didn’t normally read through news like this but when he saw the name of the city where he lived, the curiosity took over him.

“Beer first,” he told himself and went to his little kitchen.

When Ben sat back and pulled his laptop closer, setting his chin on one of his knees – being too lazy to sit normally – he clicked on the article and started reading.

Apparently, someone who saw a group of people throwing a body into the river called the police. Kylo frowned a little and drank some more. With a concrete brick attached to his feet. Hands bound. Possible attachments to a gang or mafia. All of it sounded like taken out from a bad movie, which Ben tended to watch when he had nothing better to do, along with absolutely horrendous horrors.

Ben wanted to close the page, not wanting to read more nonsense about some drug dealer who probably had it coming, when he noticed the name that put him to halt.

_ Armitage Hux. _

“What the fucking hell,” Kylo blinked and swallowed. His stomach tightening into a sickening knot. He knew that guy. And he certainly knew the face that was looking at him from the photograph; even though he was now twenty years older than when Ben saw him the last time.

Armitage Hux, the uptight kid who went to the same high school as Ben did. The quiet boy from Britain who came to their school when Ben had just turned 16. The ginger who always knew all the answers in their Math classes and had his little group of minions that followed him everywhere.

The green-eyed angel Ben was madly in love with until he graduated and had never seen him since.

“What the fuck did you do?” He rubbed his face and stared at the article, reading it all over again and trying to comprehend what he was seeing.

His mobile phone vibrated again and Ben groaned, picking it up. “Yes?”

“Have you read the news?”

“Yes.” Poe. He used to go to their school too, only he was one year older than Ben. They were never exactly friends because Ben never really had friends when he was a teenager, too awkward and nerdy for his own good. Somehow, they ended up at the same university afterwards, Ben studying philosophy and Poe aspiring to become a teacher.

“Didn’t he go to the same class as you?”

“Yes.”

“Was that the kid you had a giant crush on?”

“Yes.”

“I thought so.”

“Uhuh, well… I haven’t seen him since high school anyway; he never came to any class reunions, nothing.” Ben scratched his brow, glancing again at Hux’s photography. He was even more handsome as an adult. The photo they attached was taken at some public event, Hux was wearing a suit with a bow tie, his hair slicked back and a smirk adorning his face. He looked confident, powerful and like he was much too aware of it. “I’ll call you later,” Ben mumbled and ended the call, letting his phone scatter on the table’s desk. “I’m too tired for this shit,” he yawned and closed his laptop.

 

Ben couldn’t sleep that night.

He kept tossing and turning on his bedsheets, too distraught to fall asleep.

When he decided that it was to no use and he could stop pretending to be sleeping, he grabbed his cell phone and went to google. Armitage never leaving his mind.

 

The next day, he was sitting in the backseat of a taxi, going home from a bar, too drunk to drive on his own, when the little monitor attached to the back of the seat before him came to life.

**Have you ever wondered what would happen if you did something differently in the past?**

Ben raised one eyebrow. Who hadn’t? It was one of the constants in his life and even more since yesterday.

**Have you ever wondered if you could save someone from dying?**

Exactly what he was thinking about.

**Have you ever wondered what would happen if you asked your crush on a date?**

Would Armitage have said yes? Would they still be together? Was he even gay?

**Is your name Ben Solo?**

“What the fuck?!” Ben gasped.

“Is everything all right back there, sir?” The driver looked over his shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Sorry,” Ben nodded,  _ I’m just getting crazy. _

**If you want to know answers to all your questions and more, please visit us at our centre.**

Ben gaped at the address that flashed on the screen in front of him. He was certainly getting crazy.

“If you say so, sir.”

“Actually...Could you please turn the car around?”

 

The building looked like an old warehouse. The windows were sealed behind rusty bars, cracks adorning the old flaked plaster. Grass was growing on its roof, graffitis screaming nasty words at him. Ben sighed; this had to be some stupid joke.

He looked back at the taxi; the driver was reading something on his phone, waiting for him to come back. Ben shook his head and looked back at the building.

If this was some scientific facility then he was a Chinese god of laughter. If there ever was one.

Ben opened the iron door, which screamed in its hinges from the sudden movement. “Hello?” He peeked inside, expecting some homeless people or junkies to scream at him for infiltrating their hideout. “Is anyone there?!” He stepped inside and closed the door behind him, looking around. The room was empty; it wasn’t dirty, just empty. All the walls and floor painted white, fluorescent lights blinding him for a moment.

“You must be Ben Solo.”

Ben turned so fast that he nearly strained his neck. He shielded his eyes from the light and squinted at the young lady standing by the stairs. “Yes?”

“Come with me,” she motioned for him to follow her.

Ben blinked, “All right.” This wasn’t creepy as hell at all. He was probably going to be murdered, he was sure of it. He was going to die a painful death in some occult group gathering and nobody will ever know. He wondered how long it would take before his parents would begin to worry. He wondered how long it would take for them to find out that he’s dead. Would anyone ever find his body? And who would get his CD collection?  

He looked once again at the door, wondering if he should run or not. “Mr Solo?” Ben looked back at the lady who was now waiting upstairs.

“Yes,” he swallowed and followed her. “I’m sorry; I got a little...caught up.”

“Right,” she nodded and smiled at him tightly. They walked for a while; the hall upstairs seemed almost never-ending. There were various doors on both of its sides, so close to each other that the rooms behind them had to be one meter wide at maximum. “What year and day are you interested in, Mr Solo?” She asked him after a while. “Twenty years should be sufficient, correct?”

Ben stopped, blinked and when the woman didn’t stop walking, he frowned and ran after her.

“Yes, yes. But how… why is this… what?”

“You’ll see, Mr Solo,” she smiled at him when she stopped by one of the doors that looked exactly like any other. “Here,” she wrote something on her tablet and smiled at him. “Exactly twenty years, you have one week. Everything you do will have consequences when you return, so choose wisely,” she said as if it was the most normal thing in the world. Still, Ben just stared. “Well?” She opened the door and smiled at him.

“What is the meaning of this?” He asked her shakily.

“You’ll see, Mr Solo. Good luck.”

And with that, Ben went through the opened door, not knowing what was waiting for him on the other end.


	2. The One with Prince Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the lovely comments and kudos <3

Something was ringing in the distance. Ben would say it was his alarm but it couldn’t be because his alarm was that annoying trumpet sound and that was- “For fuck's sake,” he groaned and rubbed his eyes. He rolled to his side and squinted at his night table, looking for his phone.

There was a lamp, a Duck Tales comic, an elastic band, a… what?

Ben blinked and scrambled out from his bed, looking around. “What the fuck?” He pulled on his hair, still disbelieving what he was seeing.

This was his old room! This was his old room in his parents’ house! His old bed and his old closet and his old posters and a rug and the LEGO Batmobile model!

“Holy flying shit, it worked! It worked! I’m back, holy… what the… shit!” He exclaimed with a giant smile on his face.

The door to his room opened swiftly just as he was about to go to his mirror to inspect his face. Ben turned around to see whom it was and actually beamed when he saw his mother.

“Mommy!”

“Ben,” she put her hands on her hips. “Are you high?” Her face was a lot smoother than he remembered it, her hair deep brown without any hints of silver. She looked fresh and young and a little bit like somebody had just been woken up by his idiotic screaming.

“What? No! I’m just… Wow, you look so young, mum, it’s, wow,” he breathed out, shaking his head in awe.

Ben’s mother raised an eyebrow and called over her shoulder, “Han! Your son is stoned!”

“What?!” Came the reply from the living room.

“I am not stoned, mum,” Ben whined. “Can you just...can you...I’ll be right there, okay?”

She looked at him with suspicion. “Fine,” she mumbled, “but next time keep your hands off your father’s things.” She pointed at him and went away, closing the door behind her.

Ben turned away from the door and rubbed his face. _What the actual fuck?_

He remembered walking through that door in that shady building and that lady saying something about a week and then there was the blinding light and then… he woke up in his old room. He quickly looked at the calendar hanging on his wall next to the clock.

**15 April 1998.**

The first thing any normal and conscious person would do would be to sit down and contemplate his options. Ben was not a normal or conscious person.

Ben was a reckless idiot.

And so, the first thing that Ben did was going to his wardrobe, opening it and starting to browse his clothes. He was taken aback by what atrocities he used to wear at the age of seventeen. He tried to find the most normal clothes there were and threw them on his bed. Since we already established that Ben was an idiot, the next thing could hardly surprise you. Looking down at his sleeping t-shirt that functioned instead of pyjamas, he took it off and went to ogle himself in front of his wardrobe mirror. It was plastered with various stickers of his favourite movie characters – or just any other random stickers he had found in magazines.

“Wow,” he breathed out and laughed a little. What he was seeing was absolutely not what he was used to. Gone were his muscled arms and toned stomach. Gone was his shoulder-length hair, and that something that he could call a beard if he was being kind to himself was gone too. Instead of his thirty-seven years old self, there was a teenage boy staring back at him. Too tall for his age, long legs and arms, not really skinny but not muscled either. His face was smooth as that of a little baby, at least concerning his beard because otherwise, he was in a big need of some acne product.

“Well, this is awkward,” he mumbled to himself as he rubbed his face. “Okay Ben, don’t screw this up,” he pointed a finger at himself.

When he put on his clothes, washed out jeans and a red t-shirt with power rangers, he went to the kitchen where his parents were waiting.

“Good morning,” he tried with a little wave, absolutely taken aback by what he was seeing. His parents, talking to each other and having breakfast. And most importantly, looking much much younger. It wasn’t like they didn’t talk to each other in the future, it was just that they were much more likely to be arguing over some mundane things than eating in peace.

“Hey, kid,” his father looked at him as if he knew his deepest secrets and was amused by them too much for Ben’s liking. “So where did you find it?”

“Where I found what?” He asked as he sat down.

“The weed.”

Ben looked at his mother, “I had not stolen any weed, okay?”

She just shrugged and took a sip of her coffee. “You should hurry up or you’ll be late for school.”

Ben froze when he realised that he was supposed to go to school. He absolutely forgot that he was supposed to go to school. He absolutely forgot what the real reason for his being here was. He was supposed to save Armitage Hux. He was supposed to go to him and tell him not to… what could he even tell him? Ben rubbed his face and sighed, “Yeah, fuck.”

“Language,” his mum gave him a look. “You have your snack prepared on the counter, I have to get going.”

Ben nodded silently, pouting a little. This was too bizarre for his sleepy brain to comprehend. His mother used to go to work early in the morning; he remembered that. He also remembered that she was scarcely ever home. His father was a different case; he was at home almost all the time. Too much to Ben’s liking.

When his mother left, it was only him and Han. They were both sitting in silence, thinking about what to say to the other without making the conversation awkward. The first one to break was Ben’s dad, “So, kiddo, how’s school?”

Ben looked at him. Normally he would probably just roll his eyes and say something witty. But today was different. Truth to be told, he missed his father, now when he was older. And he knew that he should have acted differently towards him in the past. Because some words you just couldn’t take back. Especially not these where you tell your father that you hate him and don’t want to see him for the rest of your life. They were past this but once broken mirror still has cracks, even if you glue it back together.

“School’s good,” he nodded, hoping that he wasn’t lying.

“All right,” his dad nodded back and looked out of the window, clearly thinking about what to say next.

“I...I have to go.” Ben got up from his chair when the silence got too awkward again, grabbed his lunchbox with a Superman logo and disappeared.

 

Ben had forgotten how much he hated high school, but now it was all back, and not in a pleasant way. He was lucky enough to find a timetable in his room that he would need for today when he was trying to find all of his books, only to realise that he probably had them in his school locker. That was another problem; he didn’t remember where his locker was. Or what his combination was. Oh, how he was screwed.

He took a deep breath and shook his head; this was going to be okay. He was going to make it. Nobody will notice anything. Actually, he was trying to feel very good about it, it was a nice day, the sun was shining, birds were singing, the kids were screaming one over the other, laughing, having a good time, bullying the weaker ones… high school was hell. Who was he kidding.

By some miracle, Ben found the right class and sat down behind his desk. The class was almost empty, with only five other people there. He remembered them all. Peggy, Naomi, Luis, John and Jumbo, how they all called him. He was still trying to pull himself together when he heard somebody call his name, “Hey, Solo!”

He looked towards the door and saw his high school friend (at that time the only friend because he was in high school), Andrew. They stayed in touch, somehow, Andrew now working as a lawyer in some fancy company.

“Hey Andy,” Ben nodded at him as his friend sat down behind the desk next to him.

“You look like shit, man,” Andy laughed and Ben shrugged. Did he really?

“Yeah.” He probably did.

“I’m telling you, man, you should get a girl. Just look around yourself, there’s plenty of them in this school!” Andrew punched his shoulder, “Look at me! Girls absolutely love me!” That was actually a lie, Andrew was an even bigger loser than Ben and only had a girlfriend because she was in the same chess club as he was. She had a moustache. “Last night I had the best sex in my life, I’m telling you-“

But Ben wasn’t listening to him anymore.

Before he saw them, he heard them. That laugh was difficult to overhear, for it would wake a dead man from his slumber. After the laugh, she walked through the door, Hux’s best friend and personal bodyguard. Everybody called her Phasma, Ben didn’t know what her true name and at this point, he was afraid to ask. He didn’t know what happened to her, the last time he saw her was at their graduation. Phasma was laughing at something someone behind her said and since it was her, Ben was sure he knew who that person was… and he was right.

Armitage Hux.

Ben’s heart stopped for a second the moment he saw him.

Armitage Hux came from a rich British family that moved to the States because of Hux senior’s company. They were supposed to make a new branch here, or something, Ben wasn’t sure now. That was pretty much everything he knew about Hux’s family, they had talked only once and that was when Ben’s pen stopped working during a history test. Andrew was ill that day so he had to ask the person who was sitting behind him, and that happened to be Armitage. He didn’t lend him his pen though.

He understood why he fell for Hux back then. He was very handsome, with the most beautiful smile Ben had ever seen. How he got into so much shit that he ended up dead at the bottom of a river, Ben couldn’t understand. That boy in black mouldy jeans, white shirt with a black sweater vest and longish wavy hair was nothing like that strict looking ice queen which he saw on the internet. This kid had a future; this kid deserved more than life had prepared for him.

„Are you even listening to me?”

Ben blinked and nodded, not looking away from Hux. “Yeah, yeah, sure.” He must have been staring openly, because Phasma noticed. She nudged Armitage with her elbow and whispered something into his ear; he looked at Ben not long after, rolling his eyes. Ben reddened from being caught and averted his gaze.

Fuck.

How was he supposed to talk to him? He couldn’t just… approach him, could he? How can you tell someone that they were going to die if they followed in their father’s footsteps? How could he be sure that Hux would not fall into the same future anyway? He had to do something big, something memorable, something… something.

“I should date him.”

“What?” Andrew frowned. “You want to date our history teacher? Fuck, man, you’re absolutely out of it, shit.”

Ben made a face and shook his head, “Shut up,” he mumbled and turned around to face the blackboard.

It was a good plan. He was going to befriend Armitage Hux and then prepare him for his past self to date him, and then he will not die because he will be with Ben who would never let him do something like that. Plus, he will get a cute boyfriend in the future. Because that’s what people did. They stayed together if they met in high school. All his friends did. Well, at least mostly.

Yes, that was an amazing plan.

Ben grinned.

He was a genius.

 

Ben didn’t approach him during breaks or during their classes together, not even during the lunch break. How scared could a grown-up man be by seventeen years old? Apparently a lot.

He had only seven days; he had to make a move.

And he had to do it now.

It was already after school, and Ben was just walking from the school office where he had had to go to retrieve his locker code when he saw Armitage and Phasma and that other black-haired boy whose name he did not remember.  He started walking faster so he would catch up with them, trying to think of something he would say.

“HUX!”

Okay, maybe he shouldn’t have screamed across the whole hallway. But it was too late now. The trio stopped walking and turned around simultaneously – it was somewhat creepy how well coordinated they were. Hux raised his eyebrows, adjusting the strap of his backpack on his shoulder.

“Hiey, I mean, hi... Hey… Yeah, I’m…” _I came here from the future to save you._

“Yes?” Hux’s brows creased in confusion.

Good question. Not that Ben had an answer for it. He was just staring, his mind going a hundred miles per second. What was he supposed to say? He wanted his attention and now he had it and he didn’t know how to handle it.

“Hello,” he smiled somehow breathlessly.

“Oh no, he’s retarded,” Phasma huffed and rolled her eyes. “Come, Armie, we don’t have a full day.” She grabbed Hux’s hand and started to pull him away. Hux stumbled after her, nodding, looking back at Ben over his shoulder with a concerned expression.

“Wait!” Ben shouted again when he finally came up with something that they could converse about and mentally kicked himself for how loud he was. “Wait,” he repeated like a normal person. “It’s just...I’m really sorry.”

Hux pulled himself from Phasma’s grip, giving Ben his full attention now. “You’re sorry? Well, you should be, you’re making a spectacle of yourself and everybody is looking at us!” He growled the last part and frowned at Ben. Ben looked around them, there were only Hux’s friends and about thirty other people in the hallway, most of them were indeed staring at them.

“Yeah, well, for that too,” Ben nodded. “I’m just...Sorry for your loss, I mean, you know… The...The royal family really has to have it hard right now and...since you’re British, everyone is devastated by it so...I thought...I’m really sorry about what happened.”

“What?” Hux breathed out and crouched his nose.

“And you’re ginger! Just like Harry, so..but...you’re way hotter than he is but just…”

“What?” Hux repeated. “For god’s sake, what are you talking about?”

“As I said, he’s retarded,” Phasma nodded, looking at Ben as if he was the biggest idiot who ever walked the Earth.

“I think he’s talking about Princess Di,” said the black haired boy.

“She died 8 months ago, Jesus,” Hux shook his head. “And Prince Harry is fourteen, it’s...sick, you...Think I’m hot?” He was so taken aback by Ben’s monologue that he couldn’t even form a sentence.

Ben blanched. He thought that she died more “recently”, and Armitage did remind him of Prince Harry, he was ginger and somehow royal looking in his own strange way. It was probably the way he held himself or the way he talked.

“We’re leaving. Now!” Phasma said sternly and this time succeeded in dragging her friends away.

“Smooth, Solo,” some guy bumped into Ben’s shoulder as he went past him and laughed. “I didn’t take you for a faggot, though.”

Ben set his jaw, he fucked it up. Royally.

 

After his first attempt to approach Hux failed, Ben decided that he needed a better plan. He needed to talk to him in private, without these two lackeys, but it was harder done than said.  Ben sighed and rubbed his face; he couldn’t give up. Not on the first day, anyway.

He slowly exited the school, the same way which the trio retreated, and stopped when he saw them talking in the parking lot. He couldn’t hear anything they said because they were pretty far from him, but he could see enough to deduce that they were not going home together. The other guy jumped into Phasma’s car and they both waved at Hux who went to his own car, where he waited until his friends didn’t disappear from the view. He then opened his car’s trunk and pulled out a small purple bag.

Ben frowned and hid behind a tree. What was in that bag? Armitage locked his car and started walking back towards the school, making Ben swear under his breath and circle the tree like an idiot so that Hux wouldn’t see him.

Ben followed Hux back into the building, walking several metres behind him so he wouldn’t be seen, and he was doing pretty good until suddenly, he wasn’t.

There was a loud bang and then even louder clangour. “Shit!” Ben swore under his breath as he collided into the janitor. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you.”

The old man glared at him, mumbling something under his breath but Ben ignored him, caught staring at Hux who was looking back at him with a bewildered expression. He didn’t run away, which surprised Ben more than a little – he just stood there, arms folded across his chest.

Ben let out a deep breath; this was his chance, even though he was sure that Hux waited only so he could tell him off.

“Are you following me?” Armitage scoffed when Ben got into the hearing range.

“Yes,” Ben shook his head, “I mean no!” He nodded. Hux pursed his lips and looked at the ceiling.

“What do you want, Solo? I have to be somewhere in five minutes,” he sighed, looking at him with resignation.

“I just wanted to talk to you,” Ben chewed on his lower lip, entranced by how icy this kid’s eyes looked. He would probably be afraid of his gaze if he were younger; but not now, he could very well see that under this icy pretence there was something more. Something that wanted to be let out.

“You wanted to talk with me,” Armitage repeated as if he didn’t believe him.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Ben shrugged. “Do I have to have a reason?”

Armitage kept looking at him for a long moment, searching in his face for some deception, for anything that would give him away. “No,” he mumbled when he didn’t find anything. “No, I guess not. But I really have to go,” Hux looked at his second bag and pulled it closer to his body.

“Can I go with you?”

“What? No!”

“Okay, I’ll…I’ll write you on face- damn, no…nothing, I’ll text you, okay?”

“Text me? You have a cell phone?” Armitage’s eyes doubled in their size and Ben swallowed. Of course that he wouldn’t have a cell phone, he wasn’t like Hux, with millions on his family’s bank account.

“No, no, I don’t,” Ben groaned and rubbed his face, _what was he thinking?_  

“You’re really weird,” Armitage sighed, “Bye, Ben, I guess we’ll see each other tomorrow…” He nodded, turned around with a tense expression and walked away, not daring to look back.

Ben watched him leave, not wanting to push his luck any further. It was good enough that he at least didn’t tell him to sod off. They talked, and that was all that mattered. Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to get him alone and… “Tell him that you’re from the future and that he’s going to die,” Ben groaned and rubbed his face. He won’t believe him a word, why would he? It wasn’t normal for people to travel in time. Maybe this all was just some stupid dream.

Ben pinched himself and yelped. Okay, maybe it wasn’t a dream, but Hux won’t believe him either way.


	3. The One with Blueberries

Ben woke the other day, squinting around himself into the gloomy room. It took him a while to realise where he was, and he groaned. Another day at school. Another day trying to tell Hux that he couldn’t do whatever it was he did so he wouldn’t end up at the bottom of the Ohio River.

The bus ride to school was as dull as ever and Ben spent it coming up with another plan.

He told Hux that he will text him. He couldn’t text him because he didn’t have a phone or a pager.

But he had paper.

Ben smirked. He was going to text him.

Ben spent the whole first-period drawing and cutting four pieces of paper that looked like a 2D version of his iPhone 7. It wasn’t exactly a masterpiece, but it would do. He just had to wait until the second period so he could give it to Hux.

By the time their English class started, he nearly ate all skin from his lips and managed to bite himself so hard that he was bleeding.

Their teacher was just talking about what the blue curtains meant and how they were connected to the author’s depression, when Ben gathered the courage to send his message to Armitage sitting behind him. The message was written on the paper shaped as a cell phone, in a message bubble with an answer bubble prepared for Hux’s response.

_ Ben: Are you doing something after school today? _

_ Armitage: _

Ben waited for two painful minutes before there was a tap on his shoulder; he reached behind him so the teacher wouldn’t see him turning around, and grabbed the piece of paper. He anxiously looked at it and let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding when he saw Hux’s answer written in capital letters.

~~_ Armitage _ ~~ _ HUX: NO. _

It sounded a little bit aggressive, especially when there was no emoticon to imply in which tone Ben should read it. And he rewrote his name in capital letters.  _ Okay, _ Ben thought,  _ you can’t rename yourself on my phone but whatever _ . He took his pencil and started writing an answer.

_ Ben: Do you want to grab a coffee after school? So we could talk, nothing more. _

He added the ending just for the emphasis that he didn’t want anything more with him. He might want to if he was seventeen, but now he just wanted to save him from himself.

_ HUX: Will you stop bugging me if I say yes?  _

_ Did a mouse eat your t-shirt?: Yes. _

_ HUX: All right. By the way, your t-shirt has a hole in it. _

Ben frowned at the last answer. What? He had a hole in his t-shirt? He wanted to check but now it would seem very embarrassing since Hux has just told him. So he only set clenched his jaw and kept looking at their teacher, trying not to think too much about the fact that he was going to get a coffee with Armitage Hux.

 

“So, you want to tell me that you can’t go to my house because you’re going for a coffee with that nerd?” Phasma folded her arms and cocked her head to one side.

“Yes,” Armitage nodded and stuffed his Math books into his locker. “He wants me to help him with his Math homework, so I…I said yes, you know how I love lecturing people.”

“Uhuh,” she eyed the books, not commenting on why was he giving them into his locker when he was apparently going to need them.

“I’m not lying, Phas. Stop looking at me as if I’m lying. Because I’m not and you’re being a very horrible friend right now.”

“We were supposed to watch Dawson’s Creek, I recorded it for you and you are dumping me for some idiot who thinks you’re… oh,” she stopped talking when the realisation hit her. “Is it because he told you you’re hotter than Prince Harry?” Hux blushed. “It  _ is  _ because he thinks you’re hotter than Prince Harry!”

“Quiet!” He hissed and punched her in her arm. “Do you want everyone to know that-“

“That what? That you’re hotter than British royalty or that you like brain-damaged boys?”

Hux looked at her as if he wanted to kill her; he pulled his Math book out of his locker and smashed it against her.

“Hey!” Another blow. “Stop it!” And another. “Fuckin’ asshole!” She grabbed his book and pulled it out of his hands. “Fine, I’m…I promised you that I won’t tell anybody, didn’t I? So stop it. I’ll watch the episode without you, fine,” she pursed her lips and closed the locker after putting the book back in. “But don’t forget to call me when you get home, all right?”

“Why, you want me to tell you what Math exercises we did?”

“Well if that’s how you call it, yes, I want to know which Math exercises you did.”

Hux just rolled his eyes.She was being ridiculous even if he was lying to her.

 

Ben was waiting in the small bistro they agreed on, it was not very close to their school but it wasn’t necessarily far either. Hux didn’t want to go there together because he didn’t want to be seen leaving the school with Ben. It was a little bit over the top but they agreed on it. 

Ben was currently counting the amount of coffee options when Hux entered. They had three. As the bell chimed above the door, Ben looked up and smiled a little when he saw the redhead. 

“Hi.” He was still smiling when Hux slid into the booth and put his backpack next to him. “You came.” 

“That I did,” Hux nodded. “Obviously,” he laughed nervously and tapped his fingers against the table. “So… Eem, what did you want to talk about?” 

“Don’t you want to order first?”

Armitage seemed a little taken aback by that question, but nodded. “Yes, that would be probably better, yes… I haven’t eaten anything since lunch.” He rubbed his lips and looked towards the counter. The older waitress, who was standing there, noticed him looking at her and sighed.

It didn’t take long for her to reach their booth. She looked them over and stopped with a disapproving gaze at Ben, “What will you have, boys?”

“I’ll have a lemonade and a blueberry cake,” said Armitage. Ben nodded when the waitress looked at him, telling her that he would have the same. “So, we ordered…” Hux cleared his throat and rearranged his cuffs.

“Yes,” Ben nodded. This was more awkward than he thought it would be. “Okay, so… your father is some kind of a big deal, right?”

Hux frowned. So this was what this was about? “Yes, why? Do you need some money? That’s why we’re here?” He asked Ben with venom in his voice.

“No!” Ben shouted and few people looked at them. “No,” he shook his head, “I’m just asking because you…you look like it.”  _ Smooth, Benjamin. You are an idiot.  _ Ben wanted to kill himself.

“I look like it?” Hux’s eyebrows nearly met his hairline, his voice more hurt than venomous now.

“Fuck.” Ben rubbed his face and sighed. “I’m so sorry.” He peeked at him from between his fingers and moved out of the way when the waitress brought them their orders. “I’m bad at this, I know…”

“I won’t talk to you about my father, Solo. Or my family.”

“Okay,” Ben mumbled, “We can talk about you, that’s okay.” He just hoped that he could get Hux to open up a little. Maybe if he talked with him about his own aspirations, he could somehow get to the topic of taking his father’s place in the company, couldn’t he?

Armitage sighed and put a blueberry into his mouth. “Right, but we will do it my way. You will pay for my cake,” he smirked and folded his hands on the table. Ben pouted; Hux was certainly the son of his father.

“Fine, fine. I’ll pay for your cake but I have one condition too,” Ben smiled with mirth. “You’ll go out with me tomorrow on another date.”

“Another date?” Hux blinked in shock. “You mean like… that...this is a date?”

Ben looked at him for a long moment, watching as Hux’s face started to redden – blush spreading on his previously white cheeks and down his neck. Did Armitage want this to be a date? Ben thought that Hux didn’t give a damn about him, but now it seemed that not only was Hux not as straight as he pretended to be, but he was even interested in him. Which was more than shocking.

“Well, you want me to pay for your food and that’s what people do on dates…not that I would know,” he added with a whisper because at that time he really hadn’t known.

Hux blushed even deeper, obviously not knowing what to say to this. He lowered his head and laughed nervously. Ben didn’t have to be a genius to guess that this was probably a yes. “Okay,” Armitage mumbled and quickly stuffed his mouth with cake.

Ben beamed at him. That wasn’t so hard after all.

 

It was surprisingly easy to talk to Hux. Ben had had his doubts but he found out that Armitage was not such a snob after all. He was a fairly normal eighteen-year-old boy who was an only child, liked spicy chicken wings and would like to own a cat one day.

“So, what’s with that nickname of yours?” Armitage asked when he put down his spoon and swallowed the last bite of his cake.

“My nickname?”

“Yes! Your nickname… Walker calls you that sometimes and you definitely had it written on your locker. I thought that you’re in some kind of gang but you don’t look like a gang member to me, since you’re more like the type who would get beaten up by a gang than to lead it, and Phasma thinks that it’s your rapper name. We actually bet on it.”

“Oh,” Ben froze and scratched his nose. “Yeah, I almost forgot about that,” he mumbled under his breath. “That’s a… Um…That doesn’t matter, okay? It’s just…it’s stupid. I don’t want to talk about it.” He waved his hand dismissively.

“It is stupid, yes, but I want to talk about it. Tell me or I’ll…I’ll tell everyone that you piss yourself when you sleep.”  

“What? Are you five?” Ben nearly shouted again. “You can’t tell them such a-“

“Fine, I won’t tell anyone,” Armitage rolled his eyes. “But I still want to know. I’ll tell you something too in return.”

“For fuck’s sake, fine,” Ben groaned. “It was-“ he stopped himself, “I mean, it is, my nickname. I made it up for a…it’s a… it’s a role play game and he’s my character, so…” Ben couldn’t remember all the details correctly. It was twenty years ago for god’s sake.

“You play roleplay games?” Armitage laughed a little. “Why am I even surprised, you look like the type who would.”

“Do I?”

“Sure thing.” Hux took a sip of his lemonade and rearranged his hair a little.

Ben wanted to laugh, the hairstyles back then were absolutely ridiculous. Ben himself had fairly long hair, nothing too fashionable, but Hux on the other hand… He looked like a ginger DiCaprio in his Titanic days. No wonder he had such a crush on him – half the school had, and the other half was probably afraid of him.

“Anyway, I should get going,” Armitage looked at his watch, “I have to be at home before five or my father will kill me.” Ben laughed a little but Armitage didn’t seem like he was joking. “He’s very…strict when it comes to timetables and…other things,” he mumbled and got up from the table, putting on his denim jacket. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at school.”

Ben nodded and got up too, “Yes, yes… of course…I have to get going too, it’s…it’s been nice talking to you.”

Armitage gave him a little smile. “Goodbye, Solo.”

Ben nodded, “Goodbye, Hux.”

Ben watched him go and got caught staring when Armitage turned around after four steps, adjusting his bag. “Actually, I have a car here… I can take you home… So you wouldn’t have to go by bus. I’m just… Just asking…Nothing more,” he cleared his throat, looking very uncomfortable.

Ben grinned, “I would like that.”

 

Hux’s car looked even better up close than what Ben had seen yesterday when he was low-key stalking him. He never cared much for cars but he could recognise a Nissan, and this one was black and looked sleek.  Ben waited for Hux to open it and hopped inside, fastening his seatbelt.

Hux looked at him with an amused expression, “You are probably the first one who ever bothered to use the seatbelt,” he chuckled and started the engine. “So, where do you live?”

“You wouldn’t know. I’ll tell you the directions.”

“Alrighty then,” Hux drew the words out as he pulled out of the parking lot.

Ben stared at him in disbelief. “You know Ace Ventura?”

“Of course I know Ace!” Armitage laughed a little, “I’m not dumb! Duh!”  

Ben huffed a little, looking at him. Hux was an adorable kid. He suddenly wondered if the future Hux had someone who would tell him that he was adorable or that they loved him. “Armitage, look…” Ben took a deep breath; he had to tell him.

“I’m all eyes,” Hux looked at him briefly before averting his eyes back to the street.

“What if I told you that… that I’m from the future.”

Hux was silent for a moment and then started to laugh. “I’m not going to play your stupid role-playing games with you, Solo!”

“I’m not…” Ben groaned, “fine. Fine. Fine,” he sighed and rubbed his face. He needed a different approach. “Turn right here.”

“Don’t look so devastated, Solo. I’ll play with you, okay? What was that name of yours, hm?”

“It’s…It’s Kylo,” Ben smiled a little. Armitage wanted to play role-playing games with him even though he thought it stupid. He was being nice to him even though he didn’t have to. He wasn’t a bad person at all, why had he been so stupid before? Why hadn’t he asked him out when it was considered normal? He wouldn’t ask him out now, it wouldn’t be right. His plan was to befriend him so his seventeen years old self could be friends with him when he disappears after the next six days and then he can date him and love him in the future.

“All right, Ky-lo,” Armitage was still looking at the road. “I thought that you were playing something like Dungeons and Dragons but if it’s from the future… Why not. Do you have any superpowers, Kylo?”

“Isn’t travelling in time enough?”

Hux shrugged, “Yeah, probably. So, what does the future look like, hm? Do we have like… flying cars and such? Do we still eat burgers and fries? Oh! And are Nsync still together?”

Ben looked at him for a very long moment. “What?” Hux just shrugged. “Never mind, no… we don’t have flying cars, no. But they look much better than this, not that this isn’t a nice car, it is! It is… for 1998 anyway. They aren’t necessarily running on diesel either, you can charge them like… like…”

“Like a cell phone?”

“Yup,” Ben nodded and laughed a little. “Like a cell phone.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Hux snorted and shook his head. “Which way?”

“Turn right and then left on the next lights,” Ben pointed and yawned. Why was he so tired? Was he always so tired as a teenager? Probably yes. He hated this and he hated how his body was reacting just from watching Hux drive. He wasn’t exactly cover of the teenage magazine material but he was very handsome nonetheless. With his plush rose lips and pointy nose, the shy smile he was giving Ben in the deli earlier. Ben could feel his body reacting in a way he certainly didn’t want it to react. This all was so very abstract; it was like looking at an old photograph but at the very same time something completely different.

“So what other things are there in the future, huh? Are you… some kind of a power ranger?”

“What?” Ben looked at him; he was so absorbed in his thoughts that he completely forgot what they were discussing. “No,” he shook his head, swallowing. “You like power rangers?”

“Nah,” Hux shook his head. “Never liked it, to be honest. My father doesn’t want me to watch television, says it lowers your intelligence.”

Ben looked at him with uncertainty. What kind of father would say that? Maybe that kind whose work would lead you to– no, not getting there. “So, uh, what do you do in your free time then?” Ben could not imagine his life without a television; it was his only companion during his lonely nights. And even as a kid, he spent a lot of time watching it. He wasn’t exactly the type who would spend his time out with friends since his only real friend was Andrew. They used to play card games when one of them came over to the other’s house or they watched movies or played Dungeons and Dragons with Andrew’s cousin.

“I do my homework or I...I read books and um...or I’m at Phasma’s, my stepmother likes her so it’s not a problem if I want to visit her after school or during weekends, as long as I’m back home on time.”

Ben had a feeling Hux wasn’t telling him everything. As if he was ashamed of what he was doing in his free time. It was the same as when Ben had caught him sneaking up from the parking lot back to school with his little bag yesterday.

Hux side eyed him, probably sensing what Ben was thinking and sighed. “I uh, go to the photography club after school. If that’s what you’re wondering.”

“A photography club?” Ben frowned, why was Hux ashamed of going to a photography club?

“Yes, but please don’t tell anyone, all right? Or I’ll have to kill you.”

“Kill me?”

“Yes, same goes for if you won’t stop answering everything I say with questions, it’s annoying as hell.” Hux rolled his eyes, turning the car to where Ben motioned.

“You can stop here,” Ben said instead of acknowledging the threat. “I can walk from here; it’s where the bus stops anyway.” He unbuckled his seatbelt and waited for Hux to stop his car.

“You sure?” Hux looked at him with uncertainty. “I didn’t mean that I’ll kill you, you’re not saying that you can walk only because you believed me, are you?”

Ben actually laughed at this. “Chill, Hux,” he shook his head. “See that house over there?” Ben pointed and smiled a little when Hux nodded, “That’s my house. Thank you for driving me here, see you in school tomorrow, okay?”

Hux nodded. “Yes, of course. Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow.” Ben got out from the car and closed the door. Armitage kept looking at him for a moment before he shook his head, probably at himself, and turned the car around, driving home.

Ben had to congratulate himself. Maybe he wasn’t such an idiot after all.

 

“I’m such an idiot.” Hux smashed his head into the steering wheel when he parked his car in front of his family’s house. “Such a bloody idiot.” He did it again and startled himself when the car honked. “Fuck.” He jumped up and smashed his head against the car roof, “Ouch!” He unbuckled with haste and anger and nearly fell out of his car.

What was he thinking? He was a Hux, he couldn’t behave like this, what would his father think of him? Probably nothing worse than he already did, if he wanted to be honest with himself, but it didn’t matter at that moment. He went on a date with a guy! A guy with whom he hadn’t spoken like ever and what’s more, it was Ben Solo. Ben Solo who had a crush on him – at least from what Phasma said. He didn’t even like him! He couldn’t like him. Liking people was distracting and liking guys was even worse because it meant not being what his father wanted him to be. If somebody saw him, he would be screwed.

He probably did like him though.

Which was even worse if he had to admit it to himself.

When Armitage entered the house and closed the door behind him, hanging his jacket on the hanger by the door, he could hear voices from the living room area. His mother had to have some guests over. That was good; it meant that he didn’t have to talk to her more than necessary. He’ll just say hello and go up to his room where he’ll do his homework and where he will absolutely not think about Ben Solo in any way.

Armitage peeked into the living room and let out a relieved breath when he saw that he was right, it was just his stepmother and her friends. “Hello.” He waved at her when she looked up from her cup of coffee and noticed him.

“Armitage!” She smiled at him, “You’re home already?” She got up from the couch and went to meet him in between the doorframe, her heels clicking against the parquet floor.

“Yes.” He knew very well what she meant by it, she wasn’t surprised that he was home since he was home at the same time every day. She just wanted to look like she cared in front of her friends. She cared but never enough to tell Brendol to stop treating his son like he was an inmate. “I’ll be in my room, I won’t disturb you.”

“Grab something to eat in the kitchen, okay? Lilliana cooked spinach lasagna if you want some.” She patted his shoulder and went back to her friends.

Armitage breathed out through his nose and turned on his heel. At least they had some food at home; he only had the blueberry cake and was still hungry as a wolf.

The kitchen was empty when he entered, so he threw his school bag at the counter and went to inspect the stove.

Bingo.

He only had the time to stretch out his hand when he heard someone clearing their throat behind him. “Are you going to eat it cold?” Armitage closed his eyes and cursed at himself. It was Lilliana, their maid. She had come with them from England when they moved to the States because Maratelle insisted on it, even though they could have easily found someone local to help them with their house chores and cooking. Armitage didn’t mind, Lilliana was always kind to him and treated him as if he was her own. And when his father was locked in his office or in the town, he at least had someone to talk to since Maratelle was always doing something too important to notice him. Mainly flirting with her personal trainer. Or their gardener. Or the postal worker.

“No,” Armitage smiled at her innocently over his shoulder and closed the stove door. “I didn’t think a wild maid would appear out of nowhere and catch me.” He stuck his tongue at her and retreated.

“Don’t be insolent,” she scowled at him. “Sit and do your homework, I’ll reheat it for you.”

“Okay,” he beamed and grabbed his bag from the counter.

“And please, stop putting your bag on the counter, god knows where it was lying.”

Armitage rolled his eyes and slid behind the table, pulling out his algebra book. For a maid, she was way too bossy.  

He was halfway through his homework when Lilliana put a tray in front of him. There was a plate with the spinach lasagna on it, along with a glass of blackcurrant juice and cutlery.

“Thank you,” he smiled at her and put the schoolwork away. She only nodded at him and went to tend to the house, leaving him alone.

 

“So, how was your Math tutoring?”

After eating the whole plate of food without leaving a trace that would indicate that there had once been any food on the plate, Armitage had retreated to his room. Kicking off his shoes and diving straight into his bed, he had stared at the ceiling for whole ten minutes before deciding on actually keeping his promise and calling Phasma. He didn’t have to tell her the truth even though he was sure that she would somehow see right through him, like she always did.

“It was good, actually.”

“Was it?” He could hear her rolling her eyes on the other side of the line.

“Yes. He is not as stupid as I thought he would be, you know?”

“Oh, Armitage. So when are you going to see him again?” She smirked in the phone.

“Tomorrow, obviously.”

“Obviously.”

“Phas, I don’t know, okay? Probably before our Math test.” He scratched on his cheek, feeling the soft stubble that started to break out already.

“You’re horrible, do you know that? Will you at least come to my place tomorrow since it’s Friday?”

“I could,” he nodded. Completely forgetting about the fact that he promised to meet again with Ben tomorrow.

“Great! And don’t forget to bring Millicent like you did the last time, okay? I won’t be driving your scared ass back to your place only so you could feed your stupid toy.”

“It’s not a stupid toy, Phas!” He sneered and frowned. “I’ll see you tomorrow at school, bye.” He ended the call and put his cell phone on the night table with more force than was necessary. How dare she! Calling his baby a stupid toy.  

Armitage rolled over and fished out his pink companion from under the pillow, stroking its display. “She didn’t mean it, you’re not stupid,” he pouted a little as he pushed the button to give his cat something to eat. “You’re not stupid.”

His Tamagotchi beeped at him in response.

“Mommy loves you too, don’t worry.”


	4. The One with Volleyball

Waking up on the third day was somehow easier now when Ben got used to getting up early. What he wasn’t used to was the sticky wetness he felt under the covers.

“Ah for fuck’s sake,” he grumbled as he rolled out of the bed and took a fresh pair of briefs from the drawer and headed to the bathroom. When he got out of the shower, he brushed his teeth and went to the kitchen where his parents were already having breakfast.

“Good morning,” his mother smiled at him, pushing a plate of eggs and bacon towards him. “Did you sleep well?” She poured him fresh orange juice and sipped from her coffee mug.

“Yeah, yeah.” Ben rubbed his eye and yawned. He had slept very well indeed; he had also had an amazing dream, which was probably why he woke up with that disaster in his bed. At least he hadn’t gone to sleep naked.

“Any plans for the weekend, kid?” Asked Han, “I’m taking the car so if you want to go somewhere you’ll have to take the bus.”

Ben shook his head, “No.” He hadn’t thought about what he was going to do over the weekend. Maybe he had some plans he didn’t remember having. “But I, um… I might be a little late today.”

His parents stared at him.

“What?” He blinked at them questioningly.

“Since when do you tell us when you will come home?” Han asked with suspicion. “Are you in trouble?”

“No!”

“Ben, stop lying. What did you do?” Leia raised her voice and crossed her arms.

“I didn’t do anything, jesus.” Ben rolled his eyes and stabbed the bacon on his plate.

“Do you have a date coming over?” She kept on asking.

Ben’s father snorted. “Ben? A date? Leia, if Ben has a date then I’ll clean the dishes for the rest of the week.”

Ben smirked. “Well, then I am sad to inform you that you should probably prepare a hand lotion because your hands are going to get through hell, old man.”

“What?” His parents asked in unison.

“You heard me,” Ben shrugged, “I don’t know if-“ Ben froze, “I mean…I’m just kidding.” He waved his hand, suddenly realising that he almost outed himself. He didn’t tell his parents that he was gay until he was at college, and although they were not against it when he was twenty, he wasn’t sure if they would take it when he was seventeen. His mother told him, back then, that she somehow always knew that he was different but that was all and they had never talked about it again. “Anyway,” he wolfed down the rest of his breakfast, “I gotta run or I’m going to be late!” Ben bolted from the kitchen before he managed to say something even more disastrous.

 

“Quiz time!”

The whole class filled with annoyed murmur as their English teacher lifted quiz papers from her desk; she then gave them to the first row so they would send them to the back of the classroom. Mrs Brown, a stern looking lady in her fifties with a blond blowout that looked like a helmet, and four hairs on her chin. Ben remembered that he and Andrew called her Terminator because she was ill when she was little and now had titanium knee joints. Only the red eye was missing.  

“What? Fuck!” Ben gulped when he realised that he didn’t know they had a quiz coming. He certainly hadn’t studied for it.

“Ben, language,” Mrs Brown, gave him a stern look. “I’m sure you’ll get an A+ as always.”

 _I highly doubt that,_ Ben gave her a nervous smile and slid lower in his chair. He didn’t even know what they were learning about because he hadn’t been paying attention during the previous English class; being too busy thinking about his Hux mission. He used to love English and literature when he was still in school, that was also the reason why he had wanted to study literature in college. Which he hadn’t ended up studying in the end, but that was not the point.

Ben took the paper from Stacy, a blonde girl with bright pink elastic bands in her hair; and turned around to pass the quiz further. However, the seat was empty.

Armitage was missing.

How had he not noticed that Armitage hadn’t come to their class in the morning? He was always on time, at least from what Ben remembered. He was supposed to be the smart kid. The Hermione Granger of their class. Or maybe not, because she wasn’t from a privileged family.

Almost as if Hux was Beetlejuice, and Ben had somehow managed to call him by thinking about his name too many times, the door to the class opened.

And there he was.

“Mr Hux, you decided to bless us with your presence at last!” Mrs Brown exclaimed and a few students snorted. “What kept you, may I ask?” She asked with a mock British accent. It was no secret that she had hated Hux’s guts since the first time he had entered her class and dared to correct her spelling.

“My father,” Hux gave her a clipped answer and went to his desk. Mrs Brown only shook her head, not daring to say anything about his father, and waited for everyone to grab their pens and start writing.

Ben watched Armitage walk behind him and sit down, contemplating if he should ask him if everything was okay or keep his mouth shut and concentrate on the quiz.

He decided on the latter and looked at the paper in front of him. He wanted to die; he didn’t remember a thing about Mary Shelley.

As if the quiz wasn’t enough, when everyone put their pens down and the papers were picked and their teacher started on the topic of Oscar Wilde’s life, Mrs Brown decided that she would make Ben suffer for his little slip up from before the test.

“What can you tell us about Oscar Wilde’s life, Ben?” She looked at him from behind her spectacles and pursed her creepily thin lips. “I know you are supposed to hold a presentation about him next week but I’m certain that you already started with your research.”

“Oscar Wilde,” Ben began, “was a British writer.” Oh, how Ben wished he had his smartphone and Google with him.

“No shit.” Ben heard the third part of Hux’s little gang snort.

“Dopheld, shush.” Mrs Brown frowned in the boy’s direction. _AHA!_ So that was his name, Ben knew it was something ancient sounding, but he wouldn’t have thought of that one. _Don’t think about Dopheld, Ben, think about Oscar._

“He had a wife and kids and...and wrote a story about a giant and a garden?” At least that was what Ben remembered from that Stephen Fry movie.

“Are you asking me, Ben, or do you know it?”

“No, no... I know it… I…”

Mrs Brown rolled her eyes, “That’s enough, Ben.” She shook her head and looked behind him. “Mr Hux!” Everyone’s eyes snapped to Armitage, “Not only that you came late today, but you have the nerve to talk to your classmates? You and Dopheld will meet in detention after school where you can talk all you like.”

“ _What_?” Hux snapped. “You can’t give me detention! I was only telling Dopheld that Oscar was-”

“I don’t care what you were gossiping about, Hux.”

“We weren’t gossiping, as I’ve just told you, I was telling Dopheld about the fact that Wilde actually wrote Dorian Gray based on his-”

“Jesus, Hux, nobody cares,” some boy from the front row whined.

“As I said,” Mrs Brown sat down behind the desk, “you’re getting detention. Both of you. Maybe then you’ll remember to come on time.”

“I doubt Hux ever came in his life, Mrs Brown,” the same boy from the front row snorted and the class erupted into thunderous laughter.

 

Hux was avoiding him. Ben didn’t know why and didn’t want to pry, but he was sure it had something to do with Hux’s father. Hux had been acting strange since morning and didn’t talk much to anyone. And Ben also heard Phasma saying “Your father can kiss my ass”, so he had to be right.

Unfortunately, Ben’s not-prying ended with their PE class.

They were in their locker room and changing into their gym clothes when Ben heard the wolf whistle. Turning around, he saw Josh giving Armitage a once over. “Nice panties, Hux.” Ben looked at what Armitage was wearing; tight black briefs that made his milky skin look even whiter. They were a little bit too tiny but so was Hux’s body frame. He was almost as lanky as Ben, his legs and arms too long for his body. His shoulders were too narrow and his head a little too big. Ben saw him in a completely different light now; Armitage was just an awkward teenage boy with no muscles, prominent ribs and a soft tummy. Apart from Josh who could probably stand like a model for some teenage girls’ magazine.

“Thank you,” Hux answered with a neutral expression, “your sister liked them too when we fucked yesterday.”  He winked at Josh and put on his grey t-shirt.

Josh only growled at him and stopped paying attention to him. Josh’s sister was known for sleeping around, so he couldn’t be sure if Hux was joking or not.

Ben had never been a fan of sports, and sports were never fond of Ben. It had been like this since his childhood when he had attempted to play baseball for the first time. He had managed to hit his father with the bat and cut his eyebrow. As he got older, his parents had wanted him to play basketball since he was getting tall, but it had been no better. He wasn’t even able to walk while dribbling the ball, let alone score a basket.  It was hopeless.

And Ben was very well aware of it.

It hadn’t gotten better with age. He had just stopped trying. The only thing that had something to do with sports and to which Ben wasn’t completely opposed was working out, since it kept him in a shape. Also, it helped to postpone the inevitable future of having a beer belly.

Ben was unbelievably happy when he found out that he didn’t have to take PE classes in college. And having to take one now was one of his worst nightmares.

Playing volleyball was something like a death sentence for him. Because not only was it a sport with a ball, but also because they were supposed to make teams and he was sure that he would be the last one to stand there like an idiot because nobody wanted him.

“Alright, kiddos, we all know that you don’t want to be here, I don’t want to be here either; so let’s make it quick.” Their PE teacher, who looked like he was seven months pregnant, clasped his hands and picked up a ball from the ground. “Captains, our dear Amazon,” he motioned at Phasma to come to him, “and José.”

Ben sighed, amazing. Phasma hated him, so there was no chance she would pick him, and José was José, he was most likely to pick all the girls there were. Ben had run into him several times after graduation, he had five kids, a mortgage and lived somewhere near Atlanta, almost all of his hair gone.

The sorting started and went exactly as Ben expected it to. After a while, it was only him and Beatrice, the obese girl with glasses so thick that she was practically blind without them.

“Solo!”  

Ben blinked, _Okay_ , he hadn’t expected this. Was Phasma sure she didn’t want Beatrice? He was sure that she was more capable of not falling on her face than him. He frowned a little and went to join her team. Well, at least Hux was there too.

Later, Ben found out that having Hux on the same team wasn’t such an advantage. He might be useless before but with Hux standing in front of him and slightly bending forward in his teeny tiny shorts, he was downright catastrophic.

It was a tragedy.

Not only did Ben get hit in his face three times, he also bruised his knee when he was desperately attempting to spike one ball and stepped on his sneaker lace.

Armitage, on the other hand, was perfect. He returned every ball that went his way and what’s more, managed to look gracious while doing it.

When their PE class finished and they were in their locker room, Ben was thinking about asking him about the afternoon since nobody had to know what it was really about. The only problem was that Hux ran away almost instantly and didn’t give him a chance to do so. It would probably be okay if Ben could just text him or send him a message but he couldn’t and they didn’t even set up a time for their date.

And so it happened that Ben, in a state of undress, ran after him.

“Hey, Hux!” Ben caught him in the hall that was leading back to the classrooms.

Hux stopped, seemed to think for a while and then turned around. Adjusting his fringe so it wouldn’t be falling into his eyes. “Yes, Solo?” He watched Ben jog closer to him and took a little step back. “What do you want?”

“Do I have to want something to talk to you?” Ben grinned at him. “But yeah, actually, I want something.” Hux just rolled his eyes and sighed. “When are you free today?”

Hux tensed and looked around them, afraid that somebody will hear. “I have detention, remember? I don’t know…I haven’t…thought about it, yes. I mean, no.”

Ben raised his eyebrows in amusement. “Do you have to be home on time again?”

“No, no… My father is not going home today so I am free to come whenever I want, actually.”

“Cool,” Ben smiled. “How about the same place like yesterday? Let’s say… five o’clock?”

“Five o’clock?”

Ben nodded and smiled when Armitage did the same. “It’s a date then.” He winked at him, saluted and let him standing in the hall, waiting for Dopheld and Phasma.

Armitage was anxiously walking towards the detention classroom with Mitaka in tow. He had never had detention in his life; it just didn’t work for him like that. His grades had to be perfect and his school record too. He wasn’t sure why he was doing it – if it was because his father wanted it or because he needed a scholarship so his father wouldn’t beat him if he didn’t get it, or was it because-

“Tige?”

“Yeah?” Hux turned his head and slowed down so the shorter boy could catch up with him.

“It’s not going to be on your record, don’t worry.”

Hux looked at him and chewed on his lip. “It’s not, yeah.” He was trying to reassure himself but it was to no avail. Even if his father didn’t find out, he would lose the time he should be spending elsewhere. “I should call home and ask them if I can go out later, I was supposed to-”

“Go to Phasma’s, yeah, I know.”

Armitage blinked. He was supposed to go there, yeah. But he completely forgot about it. He agreed that he would go out with Ben. “Shite,” he breathed out and rubbed his face. How could he forget? He bailed on her yesterday, he couldn’t do it again. She was his friend and Solo was… Solo. He will get over it.

 

Ben was anxiously tapping his fingers against the table. He had drunk two coffees already and Armitage was still nowhere in sight. His detention must have been taking much longer than it was supposed to take or he would already be there. Ben nervously tapped his pocket only to realise that he didn’t have his cell phone to call him. Oh, how easier it would be if he could just use his phone and find what Hux likes and what he does on Facebook.

Ben groaned into his hands and shook his head in a jerking motion as if he had water in his ear.

“Is your date late?”

Ben peeked from between his fingers. It was the waitress, different than yesterday at least. She seemed only a few years older than Ben and had been flirting with him while serving him for the last half an hour. How could she be attracted to him was beyond Ben.

“Yes, I guess,” he nodded and interlaced his fingers on the table.

“That’s a pity,” she pursed her lips.

Ben sighed and looked at her tiredly, “Listen, I don’t want to be rude or anything but I’m really not into girls.” She blinked at him with shock, reddened and quickly walked away, leaving him be. Ben snorted and then realised what he's just done. He outed himself to some random waitress. He wasn’t used to hiding his sexuality anymore, and now when he was in his young closeted body, it was too hard to remember it. He just hoped that she wouldn’t tell anyone.

Another half an hour came and went by and Hux still didn’t come.

 

Ben got home trying not to feel bummed about the fact that Hux hadn’t shown up. It could be many things that led Armitage to this decision. Ben couldn’t blame him, after all, he was just a teenager. Maybe he got second thoughts and fled. Maybe he didn’t want to admit to himself that he’s… Ben didn’t even know for sure that he was gay. Even though Hux seemed pleased yesterday when Ben told him that it was a date. Maybe it had something to do with the reason why Hux came late this morning.

“Ben? Is that you?” Came Leia’s voice from the living room, followed by quick steps and her head, which peeked from around the corner. “It is you! Well… where’s that date of yours?” She smirked at him playfully and crossed her arms.

Ben rolled his eyes. Of course that his mum would make fun of him, just typical. “Couldn’t come,” he grumbled. “And it was not…I was only joking in the morning, okay? It wasn’t date or anything, just a friend from school.”

“You mean Andrew?” She leaned against the doorframe, blocking his way.

“No,” he groaned. “Can you please let me go? I’m hungry.”

“You’re always hungry.” She moved from the door to let him through and followed him into the kitchen. “Soooo?”

“What?” Ben looked at her before disappearing into the fridge.

Laia sighed. “Fine, you don’t have to tell me who it is. I get it. But don’t you think that you can bring some girl to our house and expect us not to embarrass you.” And with that, she left him alone.

She was right and Ben knew it. They would embarrass him just for the kicks. Maybe setting things right for Hux wasn’t the only thing that he could change for better. Maybe he could fix his relationship with his parents too.

The reason why they stopped talking in the first place was a little bit stupid – now when Ben looked at it from another point of view. He was going through some hard stuff in college, it was near his finals and the boy he was madly in love with back then was ignoring him, because ‘Ben wasn’t handsome enough’. He was visiting his parents over the weekend when his mother asked him about his relationship, and Ben snapped. He told her that he couldn’t have a relationship because nobody wanted him and because he was gay. Leia didn’t say anything to that, she just smiled at him and told him that she knew all along, that she-- oh. Maybe she meant Armitage when she told him that she knew that he was into boys since high school.

The real reason why they stopped talking was his father. Han only wanted to lighten the mood with one of his remarks. Ben didn’t take it well. His father telling him _“Well, at least you’ll save some money since you won’t have kids that would drain you.”_ wasn’t exactly the thing he wanted to hear.

Ben walked into the living room with a plate filled with three toasts and pickles. His mum was sitting on the couch, watching Cheers, when he flopped down next to her. She smiled at him a little and patted his leg.

“Hey, mum, em… I wanted to talk.”

Leia looked at him for a moment and then nodded. “Wait here,” she whispered ominously and practically ran into the kitchen. After a while, she came back with a bowl of popcorn in one hand and bottle of wine in the other. She took a drink straight from the bottle, tucked her legs under her and put a full hand of popcorn into her mouth. “Now you can talk,” she urged him with her mouth full.

Ben rolled his eyes and had to stifle a laugh. “Fine.” She treated him as if he was some fucking movie, just great. “It’s about that date I was talking about in the morning…”

“Ah, you mean your friend from school who was not supposed to be a date?” Ben nodded. “Alright, continue…”

“Alright.” Ben chewed on his lower lip. He could do this. It wasn’t a big deal and his mother probably already knew. He had a chance to do it better, to do it properly. “I’m gay, mum.” There. Like a band-aid. Quick and painless. He watched his mother’s face - she blinked and took a deep breath, setting the popcorn bowl on the coffee table along with her bottle of wine.

“Oh Benny,” she sighed and hugged him. “Ben...Are you sure?” She mumbled into his hair before she leaned away from him, taking his hands in hers, squeezing them.

“Yeah.” He nodded and gave her an uncertain smile. “I think I’m sure.”

“Okay, I’ll...I’ll bring us two glasses and you will tell me everything, okay?” She got up from the couch.

“No, mum, just...just sit…” Ben shook his head. “I don’t want to drink tonight.”

“Tonight? So you want to tell me that you’ve been drinking before? Benjamin Solo, I can tolerate you being gay but I will not tolerate you drinking when you’re seventeen!”

“What?” He frowned and shook his head. “It was you who gave me my first drink, you crazy woman!”

“Was it?” Leia sat down and pursed her lips, “That cannot possibly be true, I am a responsible parent.”

“You wish…” Ben mumbled under his breath and got hit with a pillow. “Ouch!”

“So… who’s that poor devil that stole my son’s heart?”

“His name is Armitage Hux and he’s the most beautiful boy I’ve ever seen.”

 

Phasma opened the door of her parents’ house to a drenched figure who resembled her best friend. Only that her best friend wasn’t usually wearing wet clothes and had his hair styled into a fluffy and somehow sleek hairstyle. “Is it raining?” She looked at the sky, which was so dark that it looked like midnight at six in the evening.

“Very funny,” Armitage growled and moved past her. He threw his bag on the floor and took off his shoes since they were muddy and he didn’t want to make a mess.

“I thought you would drive here.”

“I did,” he huffed and took off his denim jacket. “I just walked from my car and this is the result.”

“Oh, poor little thing,” she cooed and patted his hair, using the fact that she was almost head taller than he was to her advantage. “Come, I’ll give you something to wear or you’ll catch a cold and I will have to listen to you rambling about it for another two weeks.”

 

The end credits were rolling and the two of them had been into their third glass of vodka with juice. They were watching Pretty Woman on Phasma’s VCR, as was their tradition for the past two years. They knew the movie by heart but never got tired of it.

“You know Phas,” Armitage sighed when she poured him another glass, “I would give anything to find someone who would love me like that…”

“Like what?”

“Like that!” He wildly exclaimed towards the television and sloshed almost half of his drink out of the glass. “Shit!”

“Hux, you moron! Watch what you’re doing!” Phasma reddened and grabbed his glass. “No more drinks for you, you fucking lightweight!”

“You don’t have to get all mean with me, you know?” Hux frowned and got up from the floor. “That carpet is horrendio-..horrendous anyway.”

“You’re horrendous.” She rolled her eyes at his attempt to use fancy words in his clearly drunk state.

“Well thank you!” He bowed to her and danced towards her stereo, turning off the television on his way. Suddenly the voice of Justin ‘I have Chinese noodles on my hair’ Timberlake singing I Want You Back filled the room.

“I swear to god, whenever you are close to a radio, this song starts playing.” Phasma groaned from the bed.

“Shut uuup! That’s so not true!” He started dancing with the glass in his hand, putting it on the tv table and doing a little twirl. “I’m telling you, sister; they’re going to be huge! The hugest, I would say!”

“Seriously? That fucking song is one sentence all over again!”

“Is not!” Armitage wailed and jumped into her bed, straddling her and pinning her to the mattress.

“What are you doing?” she sighed.

“You know Phas, my love,” He started with dramatic expression, “I have to tell you something, and it goes from the deepest part of my heart, so please, heed my words and listen to me. It’s tearing up my heart when I’m not with you.” He nodded, looking absolutely devastated.

Phasma burst out laughing, “Oh my god, you should fuck that university your old man wants you to go to and just go to Julliard instead!”

Hux sighed with his right hand on his heart. “I know I should. But he would kill me if I turned out to be something else than a CEO of the universe.”

“Hux, if you don’t want to go there, then-”

“Oh my god, I love this song!” He squealed when Wicked Game started playing on the radio and Phasma sighed, stroking his hips.

“You love every song when you’re drunk, Armie.”

“But I do really like this one. It’s so...so... _It's strange what desire will make foolish people do_.”

“Armitage.”

But he wasn’t listening to her. He had closed his eyes, singing his heart out with such a passion that the fact that he was absolutely off tune was forgiven.

“Armitage.”

He groaned and looked down her.

“You’re sitting on me.”

“I’m sorry, does it bother you?”

She shrugged.

“You know, I think that this song would be very nice to lose virginity to.” He tapped his chin.

“What?!” Phasma blinked at him.

“It has a nice rhythm.” He slowly started rocking his hips and Phasma actually screamed in terror, rolling them to a side and throwing him off her. Armitage started laughing as soon as he hit the pillows. “It does have a nice rhythm!”

“But that doesn’t mean you can give me a lap dance to it, you sick beast!”

Armitage was still laughing.

“If you want to get frisky, you can go to your new friend and try it on him; we both know you want to!”

The laughing stopped. “Yeah, that would be nice…” he mumbled and rubbed his eyes into the sleeve of his hoodie. It was sky-blue with cotton candy pink stripe, he bought it almost half a year ago but kept it at Phasma’s and only wore it there. His father would kill him if he saw him in something like this. “Do you think he would like me?”

“Armie, he’s head over heels in love with you since the first day you entered our class. I swear you must be blind not to see it. And completely insane if you like him too. Have you seen him? He’s weird!”

“You think so?”

“I do think so, he’s… unproportioned and has Dumbo ears and...and his skin is so...I don’t know. Have you seen what he wears? He looks like he ran through a nerd thrift store or something. Plus, he doesn’t smell nice. And his hair is so greasy, it’s… yuck.” She shuddered. Hux kept staring at her ceiling, feeling stupid. He didn’t think that Ben was bad looking at all. He had very nice eyes and a beautiful smile. And he didn’t smell bad, not to him at least. But he could never admit it to her, Ben Solo was the school weirdo. And he was Armitage Hux. He just couldn’t.

“Armitage? Are you sleeping?”

He shook his head.

“Great, so you agree that Solo is a giant troll?”

“I guess.” He whispered.

“Cool.” She smiled at him, happy that he was making sense again.

“Phasma?”

“Yes?”

“Can you teach me how to kiss?”

“Get out of my bed.”


	5. The One with Friendship

Getting in touch with somebody whose telephone number you didn’t have was more of a pain in the ass than Ben remembered. This was his fourth day in the past and he made almost no progress with his“Save Hux” mission. And after talking to his mother yesterday, Ben was even more determined to save him than before.

He had two options – he could take a bike and ride to Hux’s house, but since he didn’t know where Armitage lived, this plan was a no go. The second option was to take Yellow pages and find the phone number, which seemed far easier and more logical.

To Ben’s luck, there was only one person under this surname.

And so Ben found himself waiting with the telephone in his hand, listening to an almost endless beeping. He could feel an inner tremor that was forming in his body; since when he was so nervous about making telephone calls? Apparently, since Armitage Hux entered his life.

“Hello?” said a woman’s voice on the other side of the line. Hux’s mother, Ben presumed.

“Um, hello, this is Ben Solo? I would like to talk to your son, Armitage.” He scratched his chin and ran his hand through his unruly hair.

“Armitage is not at home, Mr Solo. Shall I give him some message?”

 _Shit._ “Um, yeah, sure… I mean, could you tell me when he’ll be at home? We were supposed to meet for a school project.”

“He should be at home by any minute; he will call you back when he gets home. Is that alright?”

“Yeah, cool, thanks,” Ben mumbled and blinked when he heard beeping of an ended call. “Okay, that was weird,” he sighed. Well, at least Hux had one of these telephones which showed you the number of the caller so he could phone him back.

 

The call came merely twenty minutes later and to Ben’s horror, it was his mother who made it to the ringing device first. She didn’t even say hello when Ben ripped the phone from her hand and collided the wall because he forgot to stop running.

“Hello?” He said breathlessly, hoping that it was indeed Armitage and he didn’t bruise his shoulder for nothing. His mother gave him a knowing look and leaned against the wall, apparently not wanting to give him some privacy.

“Solo?”

“Yes! Yes, I mean,” Ben cleared his throat so his voice would lose the excited high pitch “Yes,” he said with a much deeper voice. “Hello.”

“Did you really call into my house? Are you freaking crazy?” Hux hissed into the phone.

“No?”

“Okay, I’m glad that we established this. So, what did you want?”

 _You didn’t come_ , Ben wanted to say, but couldn’t, because his mother was standing in the hall with him and he didn’t want her to know that he got stood up. “I was thinking,” he said instead, “would you like to come over today? You know, since you couldn’t make it yesterday.”

“Oh, oh…” There was a silence on the other side and Ben looked over at his mother. “You want me to come over?”

“ _Armitage? Who is it?!”_ Ben could hear from the background. _“Your father will be home in ten minutes, you better-”_

“I have to go,” Armitage mumbled hurriedly. “Bye...Kylo.”

Ben blinked at what he’s just heard. Did Armitage call him Kylo? What the ever-loving god?

“So?” Leia was still leaning against the wall.

“He won’t come… He’s busy, his father wants him to mow the garden or something,” Ben lied smoothly and put the receiver down.

Leia sighed and nodded, “Well, in this case, go clean the living room, your dad is going to be home with Luke by noon and this house is a mess.”

 

Ben hadn’t seen uncle Luke for almost fifteen years. He was his mother’s twin brother but in reality, they looked nothing alike. What Ben remembered about him hit him in the face like a big cartoon punch in a Sunday morning animated short.

Luke lived somewhere near Atlanta and was the biggest hippie Ben’s ever met. He was probably stoned 90% of the day, because every time he opened his mouth, some really weird thing escaped his lips. He was constantly talking about a Force that binds us all together and that lives in every living thing that walks upon the Earth. He was there the first time Ben tried weed because it the cookies Ben found and ate at fourteen were Luke’s.

On the other hand, Luke was simply the chillest person out there and people loved him. And now, in this Saturday’s evening, he was sitting in their living room with Ben’s parents, talking about his trip to Europe where he spent the last month. Ben was sitting there with them, listening to his travel experience for the second time in his life, remembering all of this with surprising clarity. It was like a weird Deja Vu.

Only the last time there wasn’t a ringing bell that would save him from another story.

 

“I’ll get it,” he yawned and got up from the couch, scuffing towards the main door because he was bored of walking normally. “Yeah?” He opened the door and blanched. “SHIT!”

“Hi.” Armitage waved with uncertainty and gave him a shy smile.

“Hux!” Ben beamed, “What are you doing here?! I thought that you said you can’t come!”

“Well, I...Should I go away?”

“No!” Why was he yelling so much? “I mean...Come inside, come…” Ben nodded and opened the door more so Armitage could enter.

Hux nodded and walked in, biting his lower lip as he looked around the small hall. “So...Hi.” He looked at Ben and greeted him once more; he’s never been this nervous and shy in his whole life.

“Hi,” Ben smiled at him too. “How did you get here?”

“Well, I have a car, as you know. And I...I have a good memory so I...I remembered me driving you home and so I...I parked the car at the beginning of this street and walked and totally not checked every house if there was ‘Solo’ written on the post box.”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” Ben nodded. “That would be a little bit pathetic.”

“That’s exactly why I didn’t do it.”

“Sure,” Ben nodded again.

“Ben?!” Leia called from the living room, “Who was it? If it’s Mrs Handerson, tell her that we don’t live here anymore!” The voice was coming louder as she was evidently coming closer, “Last time she wanted to borrow ten eggs and I swear she- oh…” She stopped dead in her tracks when she reached the hall, and saw the ginger boy standing there with her son. “You are not Mrs Handerson.”

Ben groaned. “Hux, this is my mum, mum, this is Armitage Hux. He’s my classmate, you know...We-”

“We go to the same school,” Armitage filled in and nodded. “It’s very nice to meet you, Mrs Solo.” He offered her his hand.

Leia laughed a little bit, “I’m not the Queen of England, young man, you don’t have to shake my hand.”

“Oh.”

“Come, come...I’ll introduce you to the rest of the family.” She grabbed his forearm and literally dragged him into the living room.

“Mum, no…” Ben groaned when Armitage gave him a pained look as he stumbled after Leia. ‘I’m sorry’ he mouthed to Hux and hoped that this wouldn’t end with Hux running away and never going back.

 

Armitage watched hopelessly as he was dragged into another room, with little chance to look around and take in his surroundings. Ben’s mother had a vicious grip for such a small lady and radiated such a stern energy that he didn’t dare to object.

“Everyone, this is Ben’s friend, Armitage,” she said and wiggled her eyebrows. Armitage didn’t see her, which was a good thing, because he would probably worry that she knew something he didn’t.

Hux looked at everyone and smiled at them. “Good evening,” he tried not to stutter and stand straight. There was a brown haired man whose smile reminded him of Ben, looking at him with a somehow mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Hey, kid. I’m Han, Ben’s father,” the man in question introduced himself, and Armitage only nodded since Ben’s father didn’t get up from his spot on the couch, where he was drinking beer. “And this is Luke.” He nodded towards the other man.

“Nice to meet you, boy,” smiled the other man and got up to greet Armitage the proper way. “I’m Ben’s uncle, Leia’s brother.” He shook Armitage’s hand and patted him on the shoulder. Hux smiled at him and then looked at Ben, who was standing by the door with face in his hands.

“I didn’t know you had a guest,” he told Ben. “I...I can go if it’s not a good time to be here right now. I don’t want to disturb you or anything.”

“No, it’s okay. Don’t worry, kiddo. You’re not disturbing anything, I’m sure that Ben is happy that you’ll save him from being here with us since his idiotic friend stood him up, right, Ben?” Han looked at his son and Ben blanched. “Go and play or something.”

“I’ll call you when the dinner is ready, alright?” Leia gave Ben a smile and when her son and his crush disappeared, she showed Han her clenched fist. “That was the guy who stood him up, you moron!” She hissed but the boys heard her from the staircase nevertheless.

“I’m sorry for my parents, Hux… I...I’m really sorry.” Ben opened the door to his room and let Armitage enter first.

“So... It seems that I’m your idiotic friend,” Armitage laughed nervously and looked around Ben’s room. It wasn’t bad, just a regular sized room with a normal bed, a closet, lots of posters, a stereo and a beaten up Nintendo that had probably seen better days.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I don’t think you’re an idiot, obviously. So...But now, you probably think that I am an idiot, which is probably only fair, assuming what you’ve just witnessed. That Nintendo is not working, by the way. My dad found it on some yard market but the first time I turned it on it shorted the electricity in the whole house.” Ben remembered that day very well, it was so dark that he managed to walk into a door and cut his eyebrow.

“Ah, I have PlayStation at home, so...yeah. I don’t play it much.”

Something beeped.

“What was that?” Ben frowned a little.

“I didn’t hear anything,” Armitage shook his head. “Can I...Can I use the bathroom, please?”

“Sure, it’s em...it’s there...Blue door.” Ben pointed through the opened door and sat on his bed, watching as Hux bolted for the bathroom with his bag still over his shoulder. “Okay, that was weird.” Hux came to his house even though it meant that he would have to search for it because he didn’t know where exactly Ben lived. That was something.

 

“I’m...I’m back.” Ben looked up and saw that Hux was really back not even one minute later. He wondered what Armitage had been doing there, but was sure that it had something to do with the mysterious beeping noise.

“I see that.”

“So...What do you want to do?” Armitage closed the door and sat next to Ben on the bed.

“Well…. I don’t know. We usually play cards when Andrew’s here or we watch tv, so… Or we can go and use my parents’ computer, I have some games there…” At least he hoped he did. All the memories from his teenage years were somehow melting together.

“I don’t think I want to play video games. I kind of suck at them.”

“Okay, sure.” Ben nodded; he couldn’t imagine one kid who would say no to computer games in the time he was from.

“What cards do you play?”

“Um...Well...Fantasy stuff,” about which Ben didn’t remember a thing, “and...and some others...My uncle actually taught me a game from when he was in Europe that last time, I can teach you, if you want…”

“Okay,” Armitage smiled at him and sat down on the ground when Ben got up to get the card deck. “Would you mind putting some music on?”

 

It didn’t take long before they were both sitting on the ground, each holding five cards in their hand while the rest was in a neat pile in between them. “So, here’s how it goes… There’s the first card…” Ben put one of the cards on the ground, “And you have to put the same colour or the same number on it...when you use Ace the other person has to wait and you get to play once more or, if the person has another Ace, he can use it to beat you… Also, if you use seven, the other has to take two cards from the deck. And you can change the colour with this card, which is called the Changer.”

“So...It’s something like mau mau?” Armitage looked at him.

“I suppose,” Ben nodded and started playing.

They didn’t play long, Ben won the first three games because he had better cards, the next four rounds it was Armitage who beat him, three times on his own accord and once because Ben let him.

“I don’t want to play anymore,” Armitage pursed his lips after a while and brought his legs closer to his chest. “Can we just...I don’t know...Watch a movie and talk?”

“Sure,” Ben gave him a smile. Talking was good, talking meant getting to know him better and that meant that they could discuss the main problem here. “I’ll have a look at some movies I have here.” Ben got up from the floor and went to search through the old VHS box that he kept next to the small television.

Hux smiled too and nodded. “Okay,” he mumbled and looked around the room once more. “I see that you like Batman,” he nodded towards the LEGO Batmobile on Ben’s night table. “I’ve always been a little bit more into Marvel, to be honest...It’s just...I don’t know, not so dark?”

“DC is not dark, it’s…there are some funny characters too, you know? You just...You can’t put them all in one box…” What was Ben meaning to say was that Marvel made much more money now because of the movies but he couldn’t tell him that, could he? Also, the Justice League totally sucked and Ben fell asleep in the cinema watching it. “Okay, never mind.” He waved his hand. “Downey is an amazing Stark though, I’ll leave you that.”

“Who?” Armitage blinked.

 _Fuck._ So much for not telling him anything, right, Benjamin? “Um...No one, I just think that...Robert Downey Junior would make an amazing Tony Stark, that’s all.”

“Who’s that?”

“Um…He starred at...Um...Chaplin?”   

“I haven’t seen that.” Armitage shook his head. “I’ll borrow it on the VHS and watch it, and then I’ll tell you if he’s worth it.”

They settled into awkward silence and so Ben turned back to the VHSs. “So...I have Pulp Fiction, the first Jurassic Park, Trainspotting, Space Jam,” Armitage snorted behind him, “all three Indiana Jones movies and em...Alien.”

“That sucks…” Hux sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Okay so...I don’t know-”

“Oh, I also have Back to the Future.” Ben rolled his eyes. How fitting.

“Okay, the last one.” Armitage leaned against the bed and looked at the ceiling. Ben had to suppress a heavy sigh as he put the VHS into the video player and turned on the tv.

He got back to Hux and pulled his pillow from the bed, “Here, sit on this...Or your back and ass will hurt, trust me, you don’t want that.”

“Thank you.” Armitage put the pillow on the floor so he both sat and leaned on it.

“No problem.” Ben took his blanket and did something similar, sitting next to Hux.

They watched the movie in relative silence. Armitage stole occasional glances at Ben who was absolutely engrossed in the movie as if he was seeing it for the very first time, but he also looked a little bit pained. Armitage looked back at the television and then at his hands. This was...this was so weird. He didn’t know what to do. Should he just sit? Should he scoot closer? Should he -

“When’s your birthday?” Ben asked all of a sudden.

“Eighth of December.”

“Cool.”

“Uhuh.”

“Mine’s June eighteenth.”

Armitage nodded.

“You’re from England, huh?”

“London.”

“I’m from here.”

“Sweet.”

Another couple of moments of mutual nodding passed.

“You wanna go back there after school?” Ben asked.

“Where?”

“London.”

“I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe after I finish the university, I’m still not...I don’t know.”

“You already know where you’re going?”

“Harvard,” Armitage sighed. “My father says it’s the only option, so… Yeah, I’ll go to Harvard. And then, who knows. I already have a place promised in my father’s company, so... It’s not like I have a choice.”

Ben stared at him. “It’s not like you have a choice? Of course that you have a choice, Armitage. You can go anywhere you like, you know? You don’t have to listen to your father.” _Or you’ll end up on the bottom of a river._

Armitage scowled at him. “Of course I have to listen to my father, you don’t know him.”

“I don’t have to know him to know that you should make your own life decisions.”

“Oh really?” Hux crossed his arms. “Who do you think you are? My scholarship counsellor?”

“No, I….” Ben sighed, this was not going anywhere, and he didn’t want to anger him. “I’m sorry. It’s just that… I don’t want you to become some soulless body in a company you don’t even want to rule.”

“I’ve never said that I don’t want to be in charge of that company.”

“So you want that? You want to let go of your dreams and-”

“Can we just watch the movie, Kylo?”

Ben frowned a little – he didn’t know if Hux was mocking him with that name or not. “Fine,” he mumbled. And nearly choked on his own spit when Armitage softly brushed his fingers against his hand.

 

The movie was ending by the time Leia came to check on them and tell them that dinner was ready. She peeked inside with mischievous smile that faltered when she saw that the boys were only sitting on the floor watching television. “Burgers are ready, boys. Do you want me to bring them upstairs for you? So you wouldn’t have to listen to us old people?”

“Um…” Ben looked at Armitage who shrugged, “Okay, I’ll go get them.” He got up from the floor but his mother stopped him.

“No, it’s okay, honey. You stay here with your friend.” She winked at him and closed the door.

“Your mum is nice. You’re lucky, you know?”

Ben looked over at Hux and raised his eyebrows. “That’s...I guess.” Ben nodded.

“No, really...She seems cool.”

Ben nodded again.

“You don’t think she’s cool?”

“I don’t know. She’s my mum. I haven’t really-” before Ben had the chance to finish the sentence, Armitage’s cell phone started ringing. Hux reached out for his bag and fished it out, sighing.

“Speaking of mothers.” He rolled his eyes and accepted the call. “Yes? No, I’m...I told you that we’re doing a school project, ma. Okay. Bye, I love you too,” he mumbled and sighed, setting the device down. “I have to be at home by nine.” Armitage looked at Ben, “And it’s about twenty minutes to get home so I’ll have to leave in a...in a...an hour. That’s plenty of time.” Hux smiled, but Ben shook his head.

An hour would be a plenty of time in any other case; but not now, when Ben was already into his fourth day, which meant only three more days to go.

Leia brought them their burgers without much ado and they settled into eating in silence. Talking about school was a touchy subject so Ben decided not to go this way after the previous fiasco. He needed to befriend Armitage and then probably gradually change his mind somehow...differently. Ben groaned when he bit into the burger, hopeless with his situation.

“What’s up?” Hux looked at him uncertainly when he heard his annoyed groan.

Ben swallowed. “Nothing, it’s just that…I would really like to be friends with you.” _What?!_

“You would?”

“Yeah. I mean...Yeah…” _What are you, Benjamin? Five?!_

“You want to be friends with me.” Hux looked a little crestfallen.

“Yeah, of course. Wasn’t that apparent? What did you think?”

“I thought,” Armitage chewed on his lower lip, “I don’t know what I thought. This, obviously.” He smiled sadly. “We can be friends, sure, just… I’m not…”

“It’s okay Hux,” Ben looked at him understandingly. They were at high school; they couldn’t just start being friends without their classmates commenting on it. And they certainly couldn’t be something more without being lynched. “We don’t have to talk at school if you don’t want to. I understand it. Popularity is a huge thing, especially in high school, especially when you’re seventeen.”

“I’m eighteen, actually.”

“Or eighteen. Right.” Ben nodded. “But you know what? They are just losers, Hux. Everyone in that school is. They’re only teenagers. Stupid teenagers with nothing better to do than to be angry at the world and trying to appear cooler than they are.”

“You think that I’m stupid?” Armitage blinked.

“What? No! I don’t mean you, I mean… the other people!” Ben exclaimed with his hands so quickly that the ketchup from his burger ended on the wall.

“So...like Phasma?”

Ben groaned, this was a lost case. “I just wanted to say that this all won’t mean a thing in less than few months. We’re going to finish high school and go to separate universities and we’ll never see them again so why should we behave in accordance with what these people think of us?”

Armitage was looking at him with awe. Maybe this boy wasn’t so stupid after all, he seemed intelligent. More so than the boys Hux knew. “You’re so mature,” he breathed out and blinked slowly. How come he’d never noticed it before? He always took Ben Solo for a stupid nerd but in fact, he was intelligent, mature, and a very pleasant young man. And what more, it seemed that he liked him.

“I’m what?” Ben laughed a little and scratched his neck. Did Hux call him mature? Maybe he should slow down a little; the problem was that he didn’t know how to behave like a teenager anymore. Hux didn’t answer, he just shook his head, blushed and got back to eating his dinner.

 

The hour came and went sooner than both of them wanted. And so, after talking about things like which tea flavour was the best or if it really rains so much on the British Isles, Ben walked Armitage to the door.

“It was really nice. I’m glad I came.”

“I’m glad you came, too.” Ben smiled at Hux as he leaned against the doorframe.

“Yeah… So… I guess I’ll see you on Monday?”

“Or we could see each other tomorrow,” Ben shrugged. “We can go to see a movie or something. Just so, you know, you wouldn’t have to stay at home with your parents.”

“Shouldn’t you spend time with your uncle since he’s visiting you?” Armitage blinked.

“Nah, it’s okay. So do you want to go?”

“I’ll ask, oh...um...do you have a pen?” Hux lightened up a little and when Ben gave him some pen he found on a cabinet near the door, he opened it and wrote his telephone number on Ben’s forearm. “Here, call me tomorrow morning.”

“Sure,” Ben grinned. “I’ll call you.”

“Okay.” Armitage hugged him and bit his lip sheepishly when he pulled away. “See you tomorrow then.” He took a few steps backwards and nearly fell from the step he didn’t know was there. “I’m fine!” He stumbled and laughed nervously. “I’m okay.”

“You sure?” Ben laughed a little, amused by Hux’s nervousness.

“Positive!”

“Drive safe, Armie.”

Armitage nearly tripped over his shoes.

_He called me Armie._


	6. The One with Cinema

Spending Saturday at the Solos’ wasn’t as bad as Armitage though it could be. It was already Sunday morning and he still didn’t know why he went there. And he still couldn’t get over the fact that Ben Solo seemingly didn’t leave his mind. Just like the hope, when he gave his number to Ben yesterday, that he would call him sooner than the next morning.

Armitage sighed and rolled over to his side, reaching out for Millie, who was lying next to his retainers. That little rascal nearly got him caught yesterday. Armitage fed her and played with her for five more minutes, before finally getting up from his bed. He was still so tired, even though he slept for almost ten hours. At least it was weekend and he could sleep until nine without his parents throwing a fit about it. He dressed, brushed his teeth, tamed his hair into a somewhat civilized look, and went downstairs to find something to eat.

He hoped that his father was working in his study but his hope was soon to be shattered when he entered the kitchen and saw him through the door arch sitting in the dining room.

“Your father is in a rather sour mood today.” Armitage turned around and nodded at Lilliana who was making waffles. “I would advise you to take your breakfast upstairs.”

“When isn’t he in a sour mood?” Armitage looked at him again and sighed. “Especially when I’m around.”

Lilliana smiled at him with understanding and continued in cooking; it was, however, this exact moment when his father decided to look up and saw him.  

“Armitage!” He barked from the dining room and Armitage sighed. So much for eating his breakfast in peace.

“Good morning, father.” Armitage went to sit next to his father.

“Good morning. How was your tutoring yesterday?” Brendol dragged from his cigarette and cleared his throat.

“It was good, we were discussing algebra and-“

“Uhuh,” His father stopped him mid-sentence with a nod of his head, apparently not interested in hearing more. “I hope that you at least take money for it, since it’s cutting off your own time you should spend studying.”

“No, I…I don’t.”

“You don’t?” Brendol looked at him pointedly. “Tell me, Armitage, are you stupid?”

“No, father.”

“Do you want me to cut off your money so you would be dependent on what you earn on your own?”

“No, father.”

“That’s what I thought. Now, your mother told me that you wanted to ask me something.”

“I did? Oh! Yes, yes, I did…” Armitage nodded. “I wanted to ask if I could possibly go to a cinema today, with a friend.”

Brendol scoffed. “A friend. Armitage, don’t be naïve, you don’t have any friends. That blond girl is only putting up with you because she is probably a lesbian and needs a cover.”

“That’s not true,” Armitage mumbled softly.

“Stop mumbling and tell me the truth, are you going by yourself?”

“No, I am going with a classmate.”

“Why?”

“Well, he asked me to.”

This time, Brendol laughed. “You know what, boy? Go wherever you like with that friend of yours, but trust me, he is not your friend. He is only talking to you because you have money. Otherwise you’re nothing. Look at yourself, who would like to be associated with you, huh? You’re just a-“ Brendol started coughing, red in his face. Armitage stood there, waiting to be dismissed with his head bowed. Only when his father sputtered something like ‘Get out’ did Armitage leave for the kitchen. He grabbed the tea mug Lilliana had prepared for him, and without waiting for food ran up the stairs to his room.

“Armie-” She turned after him. 

 

Of course, Armitage knew that Brendol was just messing with him because he was a mean idiot but still, there was a little worm in his mind, eating him alive with  _ what if _ ’s. He sat on his bed, thinking about Phasma and Dopheld who took him under their wings when he joined their school. He met them in the library; Phasma was trying to bully Dopheld into writing her essay for their English class, Armitage remembered them from his morning class and sat near them, watching them in silence until they noticed him and they talked and then wrote their essays together.

To think that they were talking to him only because he was a rich kid…

No, Phasma would never do that. Or would she?

Armitage’s contemplating was disturbed by his cell phone ringing; he got so startled that he nearly splashed out his tea. When he looked at the display, it showed some unknown number. It must have been Ben.

“Yeah?” He put the telephone to his ear and rubbed his eyes.

“Hux?”

It was Ben.

“Yes?” What if his father was right? Ben had many chances to talk to him; it was not like they met for the first time this week. And yet, he never talked to him before… not before this Wednesday. So why now? Why now all of a sudden? It was a little bit curious.

“You told me to call you, so…I’m calling. Did you ask your parents about today?”

Armitage nodded, not realising that Ben couldn’t see him. “Yeah…Yes, I can go. My father doesn’t care, obviously.”

“Cool!” Ben beamed on the other side. “I’ll pick you up after lunch then?”

“I didn’t know you had a car,” Armitage frowned a little.

“I don’t, technically, it’s my dad’s. So let’s say…at two?”

“Alright,” Armitage smiled. “At two.”

“Wear something pretty, okay?” He could hear Ben smirking, “And you should probably tell me where you live so I could pick you up.”

 

The lunch at the Huxes’ house was delightful as ever. Maratelle was bombarding Armitage with questions about the friend with whom he was going to the cinema while Brendol mocked Armitage for not being able to find a girl that would put up with him. Armitage kept his mouth shut because he was sure that whatever he would say would end up with him not being permitted to go anywhere, and he didn’t want that.

The idea of going out with Ben was suddenly something like a sweet escape from the prison he called his life. The prison he called his family.

 

Ben got to Hux’s house two minutes before two because he got lost three times. The house was everything he expected it to be – big and snobbish. He was dressed in the best casual clothes he could find in his closet, which meant black jeans, black beaten up chucks and a red hoodie. He couldn’t do anything else than to pray that his skin would be nice to him overnight and it somehow was so… that was a good thing.

Ben had to wait exactly one minute, not that he counted it, until the door opened. Behind them stood a fair-haired woman dressed in a blue dress and an apron. “Um, hello. I’m here to take Armitage out,” Ben greeted her with what he thought was a pleasant smile.

Before the woman had a chance to say something in return, a man’s voice thundered from within the house. “Never! Or forever!” Ben frowned a bit at this retort and the woman sighed.

“Armitage will be here shortly,” she shook her head a little. “His father is drunk again, ignore him…” She added when Ben started to open his mouth to say that if Armitage couldn’t go, he would leave.

“Kylo!”

Ben looked past her and saw Armitage going down the stairs. When Ben told him that he should wear something pretty, he didn’t expect that Armitage would actually listen to him. Hux was wearing black high waisted jeans (so tight that it left Ben wondering how he could walk and not break his legs with how slim they looked) and a white t-shirt under a black blazer. “H-hi,” Ben stuttered and had to actually shake his head a little to come to his senses. Not only did he suddenly feel very underdressed, but Armitage looked like some fashion model.

“I’ll be home at six, okay?” Armitage looked at the lady dressed in blue and she nodded, straightening his lapels.

“Be good,” she smiled at him sadly and waved them both goodbye, closing the door after them.

“Your mother?” Ben asked when they both sat in his father’s car.

“No, just our maid.” Armitage shook his head and checked his hair in the outside mirror.

“You look good, don’t worry.” It was somehow very charming and cute how Armitage observed himself in the mirror. He was subconsciously pursing his lips and squinting at his reflection.

“What?” Hux looked at him, blushing.

“I said that you look good, don’t worry,” Ben smirked at him mischievously and patted his thigh, testing the boundaries. Armitage let him, not scooting away, which was probably a good sign.

“Thank you,” Hux smiled at Ben and lowered his head.

Ben winked at him and got so lost in Armitage’s shy smile that he almost missed a turn.

 

When they got to the town centre and stopped in a parking lot next to the little cinema, Ben got to learn some new things about his new friend. Apparently, Hux liked strawberry ice cream, loved photography – hence his after school club – and thought that Ben couldn’t sing to save his life.

“So…What would you like to see?” Ben stopped in front of the cinema and put his hands into his pockets. They were playing only two movies and he saw both of them.

“Well,” Armitage tapped his chin, “I’m not sure.” 

Ben rolled his eyes behind Hux’s back. How hard could it be to choose from two movies? 

“I promised Phasma that I’ll go and see the Titanic with her when it was opening in February but she didn’t have time to go, so I guess that we could go see it? I want to see it on the big screen and I don’t want to risk missing it just because of her.” Armitage turned to him and Ben nodded. 

“Okay, I’ll go get the tickets.” He caressed Armitage’s lower back and went to the cashier. 

 

Ben got back with two tickets and a box of popcorn, and gave the tickets to Armitage with a joyful smile.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Hux lifted his eyebrows, Ben seemed somehow happier than normal.

“That boy at the cashier wished us a happy date and asked me if my girlfriend made me watch this stupid sappy movie or if it was our mutual idea,” Ben laughed and shook his head with amusement.

“Your girlfriend? What did you tell him?”

Ben shrugged. “I told him that I would watch whatever my girlfriend wanted me to watch as long as it made her happy.”

Armitage stayed staring at him for a few moments, blinking slowly and trying to come up with something to answer. He was confused. Did Ben mean that he would do anything for him as long as it made him happy, or was Ben talking about some hypothetical girlfriend?

“It starts in ten minutes so we should probably go,” Ben nudged him when he saw that he was stuck.

“Y-Yeah. Sure.” Armitage felt Ben’s hand on his lower back. He looked at him with uncertainty but Ben was facing onwards as if touching Hux was the most natural thing ever. Was he aware that somebody could see them? Ben noticed him watching and looked at him, giving him a smile. “You’re holding me,” Armitage mumbled.

“I know.” Ben winked and Armitage felt like he could fly.

 

Ben regretted agreeing to see this movie. He’d seen it several times and it got more boring every time he saw it. Not only was it too romantic for him, but he was also one of those people who were angry with Rose for not making room for poor Leo because, let’s be honest, they would fit on that piece of wood if they wanted.

“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” Armitage mumbled when Kate Winslet wanted to jump into the icy water.

“Yeah, wait until they’re at that dinner thing,” Ben whispered back and immediately winced.

“What? You-“

“My mum’s already seen it. She was talking about it.” He quickly added to save his sorry ass.

Armitage nodded and remained silent.

Ben didn’t fall asleep, surprisingly. It was probably because watching this movie with Armitage was far more entertaining than watching it with anyone else. Ben was listening to Armitage’s breath quicken when Jack drew Rose’s portrait (and was chuckling silently when Rose told Jack to draw her like one of his French girls, classic). And had to swallow the urge to tell him the fun fact that it was actually the director who drew the picture. He watched Armitage swallow when the pair made love in the car in the cargo, he felt Armitage finding his hand and squeezing it when they hit the iceberg. Armitage was so engrossed in what was happening on the screen that he became far more fascinating to Ben than the whole Titanic was for the world in these past times.

By the time the movie ended, Armitage was silently sniffling into a paper tissue that they got along with the popcorn. They waited until all of the people exited the cinema and then started to get up.

“So did you like it?” Ben looked at him and chuckled a little when he saw Armitage’s red eyes.

“How are you not crying? Are you made of stone?” Hux looked at him with accusation.

Ben laughed a little, he actually did cry when he saw it for the first time. “I don’t know, it was sad but…”

“But?!” Armitage punched him in the chest. “You’re mental!”

Ben laughed. “Stop hitting me or you’ll hurt yourself.”

“Oh?” Armitage smirked. “Famous last words, Solo!” He quickly rounded Ben and jumped on his back, hitting him.

“What are you doing?” Ben laughed, gripping Hux’s legs so he wouldn’t fall down.

“Hitting you!!” Armitage screeched as Ben walked with him out of the cinema to the main street.

 

“Hux?” Both of the boys froze in their fight when they heard Phasma’s voice. Ben slowly turned, Armitage still on his back like a human-sized tick. “What the fuck?”

Ben let him go and Armitage stumbled a little when he set his feet on the ground again. “Phasma,” he said a little breathless. “What are you doing here?”

“I was shopping. What are  _ you  _ doing here? And with  _ him _ ?” She frowned.

“We were…” Armitage swallowed. He didn’t know what to say. They were caught in the act and there was no way that he could talk them out of this.

“In the cinema.” Ben supplied.

Phasma frowned even more. “Doing Math, I presume.”

“Phasma…” Armitage sighed.

She snatched his ticket out of his pocket. “Titanic?” She looked at him incredulously. “You traitor. You promised me!”

“It’s not my fault that you’re always busy,” Armitage grumbled.

“I am always busy? Me? Are you fucking serious?!”

“Phasma, stop yelling.”

“No, I won’t stop yelling, you douche. What do you think you’re doing?”

“What’s your problem?!” Ben noticed that Armitage’s voice got a pitch higher than usual. He had never heard or seen him scream at someone and he had to say that it suited him. He could imagine Armitage using this voice at his subordinates in the future, he could see why they would fear and hate him, why they would want to get rid of him. It was a little bit frightening if he imagined the Hux from the newspaper photograph doing it.

“My problem?” Phasma scoffed and gave Ben a venomous look. “You always say that you can’t go out because your father won’t let you go, because you have to study and now you’re here with this…this…troll!”

“Hey!” Ben frowned.

“You’re going to ruin yourself,” Phasma looked at them both, shoved Ben into his right shoulder and walked away.

“Phas!” Armitage turned around after her but she pretended not to hear him. “Oh damn it.” He ran after her, leaving Ben.

Ben sighed; he didn’t know what to do. This was their fight and he didn’t feel obligated to intervene. He knew that young people tended to be like this, fight in one second and be best friends in the other.

Armitage came back a few moments later, looking crestfallen.

“She’ll come around,” Ben sighed when he noticed that Hux looked about to cry and pulled him into his arms. “It’s okay, alright?” He mumbled into his hair. “I’ll drive you home.” Armitage shook his head. “You don’t want to?”

Armitage pulled away and sniffled. “Can we go for a lunch instead?”

Ben smiled a little and nodded. “Alright.”

 

They ended up in a fast food deli not long after. Armitage was still looking a little bit uneasy and Ben was wondering what it was that made Phasma snap like this. Did she know that he was pining after Hux the whole time? If she did, she was clearly not okay with it. And what did she mean by ‘You’re going to ruin yourself’? Was she speaking to Hux only, thinking that Ben was not good enough for him, or was she speaking to them both meaning that if they eventually got together the whole school and their families would go nuts?

“Earth to Kylo.”

Ben blinked when he registered Armitage waving his hand in front of his face. He shook his head and gave him an apologetic smile, only to notice that there was an amused looking woman standing by their booth and obviously wanting to take his order.

“Are you with us, young man?” She smiled at him and chewed on her chewing gum.

“Hey, yes, um...I’ll take whatever he’s having.” Ben nodded and readjusted his fringe that kept falling into his eyes.

“Where have you been?” Armitage asked when the waitress walked away. Ben waved his hand in the air as if it was the answer. “I see,” Armitage nodded and hummed. “I’m sorry that you had to see that… Phasma’s a little bit overprotective sometimes.”

“I can understand that,” Ben nodded, “I tend to get overprotected over things and people I like too.”

“Oh really?”

“Oh really.” Ben laughed and took Armitage’s hand into his. Hux looked at their joined hands on the table desk and blushed, taking his hand away and hiding it in his lap under the table. Ben sighed, “I’m sorry, am I making you uncomfortable?”

Armitage looked at him with disbelief. “Are you even real?” He rubbed his face and groaned. “Most people would… They wouldn’t ask, okay? They would… No, they wouldn’t, they wouldn’t. Nobody would do this. Nobody.”

“Hux?” Ben lifted his eyebrows. He was not making any sense. “What are you talking about?”

“Why are you doing this, Solo?” Armitage folded his arms over his chest to shield himself.

“Why am I doing what?”

“Why are you suddenly so interested in me? Why are you-“ Armitage leaned closer and lowered his voice. “-why are you suddenly behaving as a completely different person?” He hissed.

“Because I…” _Grow some balls, Benjamin. Think of your past self and about what you have to prepare for him before you disappear again._ “Because I realised that if I didn’t do something now, I would miss my chance when you move out of the city and I would never see you again. And I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to live with constant _what-if_ s in my life, okay?”

“You would miss your chance and never see me again? What-“

“I like you, Armitage, okay? I thought that I made that apparent. And I really want to give this a chance if you’ll have me, that’s it.”

“You really like me?”

Ben nodded.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” Ben breathed out through his nose. “I thought that maybe we could give it a chance, you know?”

“But I’m…I’m leaving for Harvard in August. We would only have four months and-“

“I’m not asking you to marry me, Armitage.” Ben smiled a little. “Who says that we will make it past a month?”

Armitage huffed and shook his head. “My father would never approve…”

“Screw your father.”

“What are your plans for the future?” Armitage asked when they were walking towards Ben’s car from the deli. 

“My plans?” Ben laughed a little and looked at him. “Well, what can I say… I will go study sociology at the Pittsburgh uni. Then, after the graduation I will ask Poe, he was two years above us, I don’t know if you know him, if I can work with him, since he’s studying PR. We will host some independent events and concerts in bars and TED talks, et cetera. My personal life is going to be a mess because, I’m an idiot, apparently.” He shrugged. 

Armitage blinked at him and started laughing, “You’re so weird.” He shook his head and punched him a little. 

“You have no idea.” 

“I think I do.” Armitage poked him in his ribs and started running away, laughing. 

Ben sighed with a smile. He was too old for this. 

 

They spent their trip back to Hux’s home singing to the songs from the radio; well, Hux spent it singing to the songs from the radio and Ben was only listening and trying not to laugh. Hux’s version of Wannabe forever engraved in his memory.

“We’re here.” Ben stopped the engine when they reached Hux’s house.

“Yeah,” Armitage mumbled, wishing they weren’t. “I had a really good time, though. We should do this more often.”

Ben smiled. “We definitely should.”  _ But I won’t be here the next weekend or the weekend after it. _

“Alright,” Hux smiled too and bit his lip, his eyes searching in Ben’s face. This was it. They were in the cinema and they will kiss now because it was a date and that’s how dates end. Or isn’t it?

“Goodbye, Armitage.” Ben caressed his hand and smiled softly.

“Goodbye, Ben.” He waited but Ben was only watching him with a pleasant smile.

“Do we have some class together tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Armitage sighed and huffed. He opened the door and started getting out before he stopped, gave Ben one more long stare and when nothing happened, he huffed once more and finally exited the car.

 

When Ben got home and parked the car, he rested his head against the steering wheel and screamed. This had to be some kind of nightmare, he was sure of it. Armitage was behaving as any normal teenager would, he was behaving like every normal kid, would but Ben just couldn’t do it. Armitage wanted him to kiss him but he just couldn’t do it. 

He couldn’t. 

And now he was here, screaming into the steering wheel like a madman, while his father stared at him from the door. 

_ Wait, what? _

Ben lifted his head and blinked. Yes. There he was. His father was really standing there and he was watching him with a rather odd expression. 

„Luke?!“ Han shouted over his shoulder, “You owe me ten bucks!”

Ben got to his room and shut the door with anger. They were actually betting on if he fucks up? Well, that was something. He kicked his bed and howled in pain. “Fucking shit bed!” He fell on it, clutching his hurt foot. “Why am I such…” He rolled onto his side and sighed; he pushed one arm under his pillow and frowned when he found something paper-like there. How come he hadn’t noticed it before?

Ben pulled the object from under the pillow and frowned even more. He forgot that he had a photo of Armitage there. But he remembered now. It was the photo that was featured in their yearbook the year Armitage started attending their school. Ben had cut it out after going home with his yearbook the day they got it and maybe (or rather not) cried himself to sleep talking to that picture. Ben sighed and caressed Armitage’s printed face with his fingertips. The ginger boy was looking at him with a schooled expression, head tilted upwards and haughty look adorning his face.

“You wouldn’t be smiling if you knew what’s coming for you…” Ben mumbled and poked into the photo. “You wouldn’t… Wouldn’t…” he shook his head, “That’s…Ugh, for fuck’s sake, this is so…I’m in such a deep shit.” Ben groaned and rubbed his face with his free hand. “Why can’t you make it easier for me, huh? Why can’t you?” He glared at the photo as if he expected it to talk back.

“Ben! Dinner is ready!” Han called from downstairs.

Ben groaned and got up from the bed. “I’m coming!”

“You don’t have to inform us about your body fluids, just come to eat your mother’s casserole!”

Ben rolled his eyes upon his father’s humour and hid the photo back under his pillow, “Stay.” He patted it and went downstairs. This was certainly one of the things he didn’t miss about being a teenager. Living on his own had its own perks. On the other hand, he missed warm food. 


	7. The One with the Curfew

Ben woke up on Monday with an uneasy feeling in his stomach. The reality of only having two days now was slowly but surely falling on the top of his head. He remained lying in his bed, with his hand slowly taking care of his morning problem, while thinking about what he had yet to do. He should probably write a plan. At least a bullet list for the things he’d already done and for the things that he had yet to take care of. When he looked at his alarm clock, he saw that he had ten more minutes before his mother would come to wake him, and so he remained thinking.

 

_ Befriend Armitage Hux – done _

_ Make Hux like you – done _

_ Fuck it up – done _

 

Ben groaned and rolled over, screaming into his pillow in frustration. He should have kissed him. Why didn’t he kiss him? Why did he act like a giant dick? Armitage didn’t know who Ben really was, Armitage didn’t have a clue that he wasn’t the boy Hux thought he was and therefore, Armitage couldn’t know that the reason Ben didn’t kiss him certainly wasn’t a lack of desire.

Sooner than Ben would like to, his mother knocked on his door telling him to get up. He grumbled back the answer and got up from his bed. He put on his old, or back then probably new, Superman t-shirt and jeans and went downstairs.

The breakfast was silent today, at least from his side. Luke left yesterday evening and Han was reading a newspaper while Leia was burning her tongue with her black coffee because she overslept and had to leave for work in ten minutes.

“I can take you to school if you want,” she told Ben when he was slurping his tea. “But I need to leave in two minutes so you should hurry up, or take the bus.”

Ben nodded and put the mug back on the table. “I’m coming; I just need to get my bag.” He sprinted the stairs to his room and jumped back down from the half of the staircase. His mother gave him a disapproving look, mumbling something about breaking his legs.  

 

“So, how was the date yesterday?” Leia asked as soon as they hit the road. Ben groaned; he should have known that her offering him a ride was just a ruse.

“It wasn’t a date, ma.” Ben put on the radio so they wouldn’t have to talk. Normally he would have switched between the stations until he’d found the perfect song but right now he just needed a noise that would tune off his mother. And he didn’t have his Spotify account here, a premium one at that, because the commercials were driving him crazy.

Leia switched it off.

“Don’t lie to me. What movie did you go to see, hm?”

“Titanic.”

Leia smirked.

“What?!”

“Nothing. You went to see Titanic with the boy you have a crush on and you’re telling me it wasn’t a date. Either you are stupid, which I know you’re not, or you think I am stupid, which would end with your pocket money getting shelved so… How was your date?” She looked at him impishly.

“It went fine,” Ben grumbled and rolled his eyes.

“But?”

“What?!” Ben looked at her incredulously, “What do you mean ‘but’? There is no but! Why should there be a but?”

“Because I know you, Ben.” She was watching the road.

Ben tensed. His mother was sure that he would fuck up his date with Hux, which was more than obvious. And it hurt as hell. What hurt even more was that she was right. He had fucked it up. He had fucked it up royally.

“You could at least trust me a little, you know?” Ben looked at his mother sharply. After all his fucked up relationships, after all her lectures about how incompetent he was when it came to dating, after all the guilt trips, he just couldn’t take it anymore. He had been listening to it for over ten years and he’d had enough.

Leia laughed a little and looked at him. “Ben, you’re seventeen, it’s normal to make mistakes… You will make plenty of them until you find the one.”

“But I’ve already found him, mum.”

She sighed and shook her head. “Of course you had, darling. Of course, you had.”

 

Ben’s Chemistry and Geography classes were a horror, they got a pop quiz from lipids and he didn’t even know what that meant anymore. He just hoped his past self wouldn’t get into trouble because of his fading memory. Andrew, who had the Chemistry class with Ben, wanted to copy his answers, and when he saw that Ben had his paper blank, he had the audacity to laugh at him.

It took three classes until Ben saw Hux in the corridor. He was talking to Phasma, and by the looks of it, it wasn’t a pleasant conversation.

 

Armitage was glad that he didn’t have to see his best friend for the first two classes. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to act reasonably in her presence. However, when the third period came and they had Economy class together, he hoped she would apologise at least. Oh, how wrong he was. Phasma kept ignoring him the whole time.

Typical.                                                                                 

What happened yesterday struck him very deep. He’d never thought that Phasma would be the type of person to do something like this. When she dated someone whom Armitage didn’t like, he didn’t comment on it. Okay, that was a lie, he did comment on it, but not like that. He would always tell her that they probably shouldn’t wear these shoes with those jeans or that they weren’t treating her right. But to attack her for being happy? And so openly? He would never do that.

Armitage had trouble sleeping that night, not even playing with Millicent helped to lift his mood, and that was something. Her beeping usually made him happy every time his father wronged him.

“Phasma, wait.” Armitage bolted after her when the bell rang and Phasma got up from her desk. He had enough of her silence. Phasma looked at him from the classroom's door, set her lips into a thin line and started walking away. Armitage growled and followed her. “Stop acting like a child, Phas. You’re being ridiculous.”

“Oh am I now?” She turned sharply when they reached the corridor; Armitage took a step back, blinking rapidly because their heads nearly collided.

“Y-Yes!” He stuttered and nodded.

“Oh please, don’t give me that look and stop pursing your lips. You’re the one who’s ridiculous.” She rolled her eyes at him and hugged her books closer to her chest.

“I tried to call you last night.”

“I know, my mum picked it up and told me. I told her to tell you that I’m sleeping.”

“I know, she told me that you told her to tell me that you’re sleeping.”

“Look, I really don’t have time to talk to you right now, okay?” Phasma started walking away again, this time towards her lockers. His behaviour was too much for her. She thought she made herself clear when they had their weekly sleepover. Apparently not. Not according to Armitage. He had to go and ruin everything, was he that dense?

“Okay, look, I’m sorry, okay?” Armitage whined after her and caught her by the back of her denim jacket.

“Let go,” she growled and turned around, “Why don’t you go after your new boyfriend, huh?”

Hux let go of her as if she burned him. “What? No!”

“No? He is not your boyfriend?” She hissed. Did he think she was stupid? She saw how they acted in front of the cinema building. What was Armitage thinking? What if his father found out? Nobody in the school knew he was gay, that was something only between the two of them. Armitage was always ashamed of it, anxious even. And his father always played a pivotal role in this anxiety. But now it seemed like everything he was always planning for his future, everything he worked so hard for, was going to be thrown away for some big eared oaf named Benjamin Solo.

“No...He only said that he wants to be friends with me.” Hux scowled at her and looked around sheepishly. What if somebody heard her?

She huffed. “Right, so he isn’t your boyfriend  _ yet _ . I don’t want to watch you ruin yourself, Armitage. Did you not hear a word I told you when you were sleeping at my place?”

“I’m not going to ruin myself just because somebody likes me.”

“He doesn’t like you, Armitage. Stop being stupid.” She looked at him with something akin to pity. How could such an intelligent person as Hux totally overlook what was happening? You couldn’t just cross the high school caste without undermining your reputation, which was exactly what Armitage was doing. In addition to all this, Hux also decided to be completely blind to see what Solo was doing. He had to have some other ulterior motives, he was always ogling Hux, everyone knew that, but now he suddenly decided to act on it. That was very suspicious. There had to be something he was getting from all this.

“Why...Why would you say something like this?” Hux shook his head in disbelief; he really didn’t understand what was her problem. Other than Solo apparently not being good enough for her to be good enough for him. He had enough of people organizing his life. First his father and now Phasma.

“Because it’s true! It’s probably just some stupid bet! I swear to you that the moment he kisses you, he’s going to laugh you in the face!” Few people looked after them because of her rising voice. Phasma frowned and flipped them off. As she was looking after the freshmen, she noticed Solo standing by the stairs and sneered. “Don’t come crying to me when he breaks your heart.” She shoved Hux’s shoulder and left him standing there.

Armitage rubbed his face and sighed. Ben would not break his heart; if there were somebody who would break the other's heart, it was Hux and not Ben. He schooled his face into a more stoic expression and turned around, noticing Ben standing there almost instantly. Armitage only hoped that Ben hadn’t heard them.

 

“Hi,” Ben greeted him when Armitage got into the hearing range. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” Hux nodded and gave him a reassuring smile. He wasn’t feeling okay at all. He looked over his shoulder where Phasma disappeared in the corridor and bit his lip, turning back to Ben.

“You sure? You don’t look exactly okay.”

“I’m sure.” He nodded again and they both started walking towards their classes.

“So… You wanna hang out after school today?” Ben nudged him a little with his elbow.

Hux shook his head.

“Oh.” Ben deadpanned. He didn’t realise his fuckup was this bad yesterday. “Oh… Right…” He scratched his hair and chewed on his cheek. Teenagers could be very stubborn and if Hux was one of those, then he was utterly doomed.

“I have a...you know,” Armitage cleared his throat and mimicked a sound of a camera taking a picture, “after school, so… I’m not free until six and then I have to go straight home.”

Ben could hear a stone falling from his heart in relief. So it wasn’t his fault after all. “I see. I could pick you up when your parents fall asleep.”

“What?” Hux looked at him with feigned shock, “Are you suggesting that I should leave our house after the curfew like some criminal?”

Ben started laughing. “No, like a normal teenager, Armitage. Jesus, live a little.” He nudged him with his elbow again and stopped because they were in front of his class.

Hux looked at him with his mouth opened, he wanted to say something back, some snarky remark; but decided against it. Ben was right.

“Pick me up at ten,” he smirked at Ben challengingly and left with a salute.

 

“Dude!” Andrew threw himself on the chair opposite Ben. It was lunchtime and Ben was hoping for a moment of quiet in the corner of the school cafeteria. Apparently, the universe had different plans.

Ben nearly spilt the drink that had the audacity to call itself tea, even though it tasted more like socks cooked in water. He looked at his friend and tried to give him a smile. Ben wasn’t sure what was worse, the tea or Andrew’s mullet.

“Hello to you too.”

“Saw you talking to Mr. Teabag on the corridor.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes,” Andrew snickered. “Why are you talking to him, huh? You want something from him?”

“No, he’s just… tutoring me.” Ben decided to use the lie Armitage said he used for their rendezvous.

“Tutoring you? Dude, of all the pricks at this school you chose him to tutor you? You’re mental!”

Ben gave him a forced smile. “Well, he’s pretty smart, you know?”

“Ha, yes. He’s the smartest  _ wanker  _ there is, I’m sure,” Andrew said with the most horrendous British accent Ben had ever heard.  

“Would you shut up, Andrew?” Ben frowned at him.

“It’s true! What’s up with you, Kylo? You’ve been acting weird since Wednesday, it’s like… are you permanently stoned or something?”

“I’m not stoned.”

“You act like it! We were supposed to be playing yesterday and you never showed up! And now you’re standing up for that jackass! We hate him, remember?”

Ben smashed his fist against the table; this time his tea spilt out for real. “Shut the fuck up.”

“Chill out, man,” Andrew lifted his hands in a defensive manner. “Jesus.” He shook his head and got up from the table. “You’re fucking insane.”

 

Ben was on the bus on his way home. There was no use in waiting for Armitage to finish his photography club meeting because he didn’t know when it ended and they settled on a different time for their meeting anyway.

_ We hate him, remember?  _ No, he didn’t remember. Although now he was starting to. Maybe this was another reason why he never dared to approach Hux, not only that he was scared and had a crush on him, he took this crush and formed it into ‘we hate Hux club’. How could he be so dumb?

Ben could see his plan going to ashes.

How could he change anything if his former self came back on Thursday and started behaving like he used to? What if his past self decided to continue not-talking to Hux? There were so many what-ifs that his head started to hurt because of it. Surely, Armitage would go to him on Thursday and say something, wouldn’t he? Maybe he should try to write himself a letter or something.

He was so frustrated by what was to come that he nearly missed his stop.

It was ten past ten when Ben stopped his father’s car near Armitage’s house. The big house looked asleep and for a while, Ben started doubting that Hux would come. His eyes caught a movement in one of the windows, which he could only assume to be into Armitage’s room, and soon after the front door opened.  Armitage peeked outside, look left and right and then tiptoed away from the porch as if he was in some cartoon sketch. Ben could almost hear the tiptoeing sound in his head.

“You’re late!” Armitage hissed when he reached Ben.

“And you’re adorable. Your old guys are sleeping?” Ben took in Armitage’s look. They were only supposed to go somewhere where they could sit and talk, maybe smoke, and he was dressed as if he was going to a photo shoot. Only his hair was free of gel and a little wavier than he was used to.

“Yes, my father drank himself to sleep an hour ago and my mum goes to bed at nine to get her beauty sleep.”

“What about your nanny?” Ben smirked and opened the car door.

“She’s not my nanny. She’s a maid.” Armitage hopped inside the car and pulled his legs up. Ben gave him a funny look. “What?”

“Nothing. Put your feet down, young man, that’s not a way to sit in a car.”

Armitage rolled his eyes and obeyed. “And you say I’m stuck up,” he mumbled. “So where are you taking me?”

“There’s a skate park nearby.” Ben’s eyes were fixed on the road. He was amazed by how well he could actually see even though it was pitch dark outside. Maybe he should really consider going to an eye doctor to get contacts or glasses.

“I wouldn’t know,” Hux sighed and buried himself more into his seat.

 

The journey didn’t take long and both boys were relatively quiet, Armitage was playing with the sleeves of his black turtleneck and Ben was humming along the car radio. Ever since his conversation with Phasma, Hux was thinking about her words almost nonstop. It was like a little mechanic bird in his brain, singing one song all over again. The only thing that changed was the voice it was using. The chorus sounded like his father telling him that no one would ever want him for who he really was because he was useless; the bridge sounded like Phasma telling him that Ben didn’t really like him and it was all just a game.

“Hux? We’re here.”

Armitage banged his head against the window when he felt Ben’s touch on his shoulder. “Huh?”

“We’re here.” Ben smiled and motioned with his head for Hux to get out.

Armitage nodded and exited the car, hugging himself around his middle. The night air was colder than he anticipated. He didn’t lie when he said that he’d never been here. The skate park looked like a place where a kid like him could get bullied very easily. Except he didn’t get bullied at school, he was hated or adored by the people who knew him and feared by those who didn’t. He had a feeling that he heard something about a club “We hate Hux” which was the most ridiculous thing. Its members were probably some desperate morons from the glee club. They painted his teeth black on the poster when he was going for the class president last year.

“You seem distracted.” Ben looked at him when they sat down on the edge of one of the ramp.

“Huh?” Hux looked at him from his shoes. “Yeah, I’m… I’m sorry, it’s nothing. Just… I had a lot on my mind.”

“Is your father bugging you again?” Ben reached with his hand to cup Hux’s cheek but he moved his head away.

“Yeah, that too,” Armitage smiled sadly and sighed, “but let’s not talk about my problems. I’m sure that you don’t want to hear about it.”

Ben shook his head so vehemently that he nearly strained a muscle. “No! No! I want to hear about them, tell me everything!” He surely didn’t sound like a lunatic.

This was not what Armitage had in mind when Ben insisted that he would take him out. He thought that they would drink beer and talk about mundane things and not that they would talk about his family problems… he didn’t want to talk about it with Ben. Partly because Ben was one of the problems. And also because he didn’t know him that well.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Hux looked at Ben and shook his head. “I might tell you… something... with time.. but not now.” He shook his head again and squeezed his hands between his knees.

Ben looked at him with an unhappy expression and sighed. “Why wouldn’t you tell me-“

“Because I don’t know you, okay?” Armitage whined.

“You don’t- we go to the same school, you’ve been in my home, we talk on a daily basis, how do you not know me, Armitage? You can trust me!”

“But I don’t, okay?” He looked at Ben, annoyed. “I… You can’t expect me to open up to you when I don’t know you more than…than a week, in person I mean. It’s not even a week, it’s just… I need time, okay? I need time. That’s who I am. I just… No, Ben. I’m sorry.”

“But I don’t have time!” Ben raised his voice and actually screamed at him. Armitage blinked, taken aback by Ben’s outburst. “I don’t have the time.” He repeated more quietly.

“You don’t have time?” Hux looked at him. “What do you mean that you don’t have time?” Phasma’s words were coming back to him. It was just a bet. Ben was lying the whole time. He doesn’t have time because the due date is nearing.

“I…” Ben gulped and rubbed his face. “Fine, I will tell you the truth but you don’t have to laugh at me, okay?”

Armitage scowled.

“I…I’m actually from the year 2018 and I…I came back here, to this year…Because I-“

“Oh please, stop with this bullshit,  _ Kylo _ ,” Armitage snorted.

“Would you just listen to me?” Ben frowned at him.

“Fine, humour me, you time travelling disaster. You have twenty seconds, and then I’m leaving.”

“I came here to fucking save your life, Hux!” Ben nearly screamed again. “I’m not kidding, I know that it sounds insane but I’m not kidding. You can’t listen to your father, you just… you’re gonna die if you listen to him. I swear to you that you’re gonna die. And I…I don’t want you to die, Hux, I-“

“Okay, that’s it.” Hux pushed himself up from the ground and stood up. “I’m leaving… I won’t listen to this bullshit. If you think you’re funny, then I have to assure you that you’re not. I thought you were different, Solo. But I was wrong. You’re just like all the other guys. God, what was I thinking…” He turned on his heel and stomped away.

“Hux, wait!” Ben scrambled up from the ground and nearly fell over. “Wait!”

“NO!” Hux turned sharply. “You stay here; I don’t want to hear any more of your bullshit!”

“It’s not bullshit, Hux!”

“Oh yeah? So I’m going to die? That’s what you want me to believe?! What are you, some sick psychotic fuck?! I won’t listen to this!” With this, Hux walked away.

 

And Ben let him go. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's an illustration for this chapter on my [TUMBLR](http://katiesghosts.tumblr.com/post/174880077049/new-chapter-of-the-time-travellers-disaster-is)!


	8. The One with the Good Luck Charm

To say that yesterday’s evening was a disaster would be an understatement.

Ben didn’t try to chase after Hux since he showed him quite clearly that he didn’t want to talk to him or to see him.

How it came to this, Ben wasn’t sure. He had tried to play out their conversation in his head while he was lying in bed in the evening, and he was trying to analyse all his mistakes the next morning.

It was Tuesday. It was his last day in 1998. At midnight he would come back to the future. And he had an unpleasant feeling that he didn’t really achieve what he had wanted.

Ben sighed and rubbed his cheek against the pillow; something heavy was settling in his stomach as he watched the calendar on the wall.

Something very similar to fear.

 

He didn’t feel well that day, knowing it was his last, and it showed. He was sulking at his place in their English class, surprisingly paying attention for once. They were supposed to bring in their own favourite poems today, which he didn’t know. Listening to one of the girls recite in front of the class, he was thinking about what he would say when it was his turn.

His musings were disturbed when it was Hux who stood up next.

Ben’s mouth felt like a desert when he watched him stand in front of the blackboard.

Hux jerked his head a little to adjust his hair without touching it and cleared his throat. “I chose a poem by E E Cummings.”

Ben blinked, “Oh shit,” he mumbled. Of all the poems there were, he had to go and choose _this_.

“May I feel said he,” Armitage started, his look pointedly focused on the back wall of the room. “I’ll squeal said she.” Ben was lost. And so was their teacher. However, she found herself much faster than Ben. “Just once said he. It’s fun said–“

“Mr Hux, that’s enough,” she stopped him mid-sentence, much too early for Ben’s liking, but not early enough so the class wouldn’t snicker. “Go sit down, you comedian.”

Ben was glad to be taken out of his misery.  He wasn’t sure if he would survive listening to Armitage’s recitation. As Hux went back to his desk, Ben hoped that he would at least look at him. But there was not a glance in his direction. Armitage held his head high, sour expression adorning his face. Everything was back to normal, it seemed. Not their new normal, but the normal that was here before. The normal that Ben was trying to erase.

Well, not everything. Phasma was still not talking with Hux.

Ben’s only other chance, except for stopping him in the corridor which would probably be normal and absolutely logical, was their debate class. Ben didn’t remember that they had this class together but it was a pleasant surprise nonetheless.

He gave up being creative and making fake smartphones out of paper, like the one he did when he first wanted to send Hux a message. This time it was only a piece of folded paper.

 _I am very sorry if I offended you last night, it was the last thing I would want. I still think you are one of the most special_ – no, that sounded dumb. Ben crumpled it and tossed it into his backpack.

 _Armitage, hi, I know that you’re probably still angry with me. But I love you._ This was even worse.

_I am sorry I acted like a jackass yesterday. Can we talk at lunch? Please. Ben_

The third one seemed like the least pathetic thing he could come up with and so he folded the paper, wrote _Hux_ on it and passed it to the girl sitting on his left. He attentively watched it make its way to Hux, who opened it. He could see him mumbling the words that were written on it. Ben smiled; he never noticed that Armitage couldn’t read silently without moving his lips.

Hux looked at him with a tired expression – maybe more annoyed than tired – and rolled his eyes.

Was that a yes? Ben wasn’t sure. But he decided that it probably was a yes since no would look more like a raised middle finger.

Luckily for Ben, there was a plan already forming in his head.

 

The school cafeteria was packed when Ben finally walked through its door and went to grab some food. New York deli wasn’t something he fancied eating but what could he do. Armitage was sitting at his regular table with Mitaka (whose first name Ben still didn’t know), Phasma and some other rich kids from their school. Ben went to their table without hesitation and cleared his throat a little to catch Hux’s attention.

Mitaka was the first to look up from his food. He gave Ben an outraged look and snorted. “Are you lost, Solo? The table for nerds is over there,” he shook his head at Ben’s nerve to even try to talk to them.

“Shut up, rattata face. I just want to talk to Hux.”

“Well, he doesn’t want to talk to you so if you would just-“

“Doph, it’s okay.” Hux looked at his friend and shook his head to show him that he didn’t have to defend his honour. “What do you want to talk about?” He then looked at Ben, who swallowed, rather nervously.

“Could we talk in private?”

“No.”

“Hux, c’mon,” Ben groaned. How he hated moody hormonal teenagers. Even if this one was incredibly cute. “I won’t talk about it in front of your troopers.”

Phasma snorted and stabbed her pasta.

Hux pursed his lips and looked at his tray. “Fine,” he mumbled and got up from the table. “Where do you want to go?” he asked Ben when they exited the cafeteria.

“Here will suffice,” Ben leaned against the wall next to the display case with school notices.

“Fine.”

“Look, I’m… I’m really sorry about yesterday. I shouldn’t…I shouldn’t tell you these things.” Ben scratched his neck. “It’s just… I really like you and I can’t act normally when I’m around you so…I’m sorry.”

Hux was silent.

“When I said I didn’t have the time for you to open up to me, I wasn’t thinking. I want to give you all the time I have, it’s just that the school will be over soon and then we will probably not see each other so that’s why I freaked out like that.”

“Why did you…why didn’t you tell me yesterday if it was about this, huh? Why did you have to make up that stupid story about you being from the future and shit? I’m not stupid, Ben. I know these things don’t exist. We’re not in some stupid sci-fi movie. This is real life. So why would you say those things? Especially the one about me being dead, huh?”

“Remember our first date?” Ben mumbled.

Armitage nodded.

Ben smiled.

“Oh. So... it was just…the Kylo thing.”

“Yeah, it was just the Kylo thing.” Ben nodded and took Hux’s hand. “And Kylo is a very strange person; he needs you to guide him. But at the same moment, he would save you whenever you feel desperate.” Ben took out his keys from the pocket of his oversized jeans. “Here,” he pulled off one of his keychains. It was a little lego brick. “This shall be our talisman, hm? So whenever you feel like you’re in danger or…or that I’m behaving like an idiot and you need Ben to come back and stop behaving like that stupid moron Kylo, just show it to me and I will know. Alright?”

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Hux shook his head.

“Love doesn’t have to make sense, dumbass.”

“Love?” Hux blinked at him in confusion.

Ben winked at him and left, his lunch long forgotten.

He just hoped this would work.

 

Ben walked all the way home.

He didn’t care that he had two more classes after the lunch break, he didn’t want to waste time in school when he had work to do.

When he got home, neither his mother nor father were at home and so he made a big bowl of popcorn, grabbed a beer from the fridge (he was a grown man after all) and went upstairs to his room.

He had a letter to write.

 

After Ben left him standing in the corridor, Armitage got back to his table in a kind of strange haze. He sat down, still holding the lego brick in his hand.

“What did he want?” Mitaka asked him with curiosity, Phasma was still pretending not to see him.

Hux just shrugged and sat down, pocketing the keychain. “He said that… that he doesn’t need me tutoring him anymore.” He picked up his fork and resumed eating.

“And he couldn’t tell you this here because?”

“C’mon Doph, leave him be.” Phasma finally lifted her head. Hux looked at her with bewilderment – he certainly didn’t expect this. “What?” She looked at Armitage and gave him a soft smile. “It’s your life after all, isn’t it?” She patted his shoulder and pinched his cheek.

“Yes, yes, of course…” He nodded, “So we’re…we’re good?”

“Only if you’ll go to see Titanic with me after school.”

Armitage smiled at her and hugged her so tight that her fork fell to the ground. “Thank you,” he mumbled into her shoulder.

“I’ll kill you if you spoil anything.”

 

While Ben was thinking about what to write to his future self, Armitage and Phasma rode to the cinema in Armitage’s car. Hux was unbelievably relieved to have his friend back. She was his best friend, after all, and he couldn’t imagine being without her. Especially if he were to be in a relationship with Ben Solo, who would he complain to if he didn’t have Phasma? He doubted Dopheld would want to hear about his love life, and frankly, he wouldn’t want to confide in him either.

“So… what did your boyfriend really want?” Phasma asked while rummaging in the glove box; she wanted to find a mixtape they had made for driving together.

“Well, he is my boyfriend now. I think.” Armitage chewed on his lip.

“Oh? So he finally proposed to you?” She smirked, mocking him, and put the cassette into the radio; Armitage gave her a warning look. “I’m sorry for yesterday, Tidge,” she sighed. “I acted like the worst friend ever.”

“Yeah, you acted like a bitch.”

Phasma groaned. “I’m not a bitch, you’re a bitch. My bitch.” She ruffled his hair and leaned to kiss him on his cheek. Armitage swatted her away, which only made her laugh. “The point is that I’m sorry. But I still think that Solo is a big mofo.”

“Look, stop…stop insulting him, okay?”

“Well fine, but-”

“No buts!”

“That’s what he said? Well, in that case, I am sorry but I have sad news for you.”

“Phasma, shut up, that’s not what I meant and you know it!” Armitage groaned.

“Fine, I’ll be good, I promise.” She raised the volume of ‘ _Killer Queen_ ’ and started humming along with the song. “So what did he want?” She pressed on.

Armitage sighed and looked at her, “He thinks that I should stand up to my father…”

Phasma started laughing. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am. He thinks that I should tell him that I don’t want to go study what he chose for me and that I shouldn’t let him dictate my life.”

Phasma was silent.

Armitage looked at her, “What?”

“Are you two fucking crazy?”

Armitage gave her a sad look and turned back to watching the road.

“What-Why...That’s...You can’t do this, Armitage! Have you met your father? He will make ten little Armitages of you and send them all to the Arctic to work in some work camp if you do this!”

“He’s my father, Phas,” he mumbled.

“Exactly, he’s your father, Armitage.” She rolled her eyes and shook her head at his stupidity. “Please tell me you’re not really considering it.”

“Actually I am.”

“You are? And what… what on Earth do you want to tell him, darling?”

“The truth.”

“Uhuh, and what exactly is that?”

“That I want to be a photographer… I’m sure I can talk him into it. He’s proud of our British heritage, so I’m going to tell him that I want to study in England.”

“A photographer? What the- why? That’s--”

“Phasma, leave it, okay?”

“I’m not going to leave it! You are my best friend! I don’t want to see you end up on a street just because you wanted to become a photographer!”

Armitage barked a hysterical laugh. “You know what, Phasma?”

“What?”

“DiCaprio dies.”

 

That evening, Armitage stood in front of the door to his father’s office. He raised his hand to knock and upon hearing his father’s “Come in,” he entered.

“Armitage.” His father looked at him. The whole room smelled of alcohol and smoke from his father’s cigarettes. Armitage was almost one hundred percent sure that his father’ sweat contained alcohol instead of salt.  

He reeked of it.

“Father.” He nodded and went further into the room. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“About?”

“It’s about school. Or more about the… the university.”

“What about it? You’re already accepted, there’s no need to talk about it. We have a deal. I will pay for it and you will finish it with the best grades.”

“About that…” Armitage swallowed.

His father was watching him with a frown.

“I don’t want to go to Harvard.”

“WHAT?!”

“I…” Armitage took a step back, his stomach tightening. Still, he persisted. “I don’t want to go to Harvard.” He repeated, this time much more quietly. “I want to…I want to take the summer photography boot camp and then go back to England to study photography there.”

There. He said it at last.

His father’s frown deepened. “I will overlook this act of madness, Armitage. You will go to Harvard and that’s the end of our discussion.”

“No.” Armitage shook his head.

“No?”

“No.”

“I see.” Brendol stubbed his cigarette and crossed his arms over his chest. “Is this your last word?”

Armitage nodded.

“That’s very unfortunate, son. I was quite fond of you.”

 

Armitage gulped, he had a bad feeling about this.


	9. The One with Coming Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very sorry for the delay but I got caught up in uni work and couldn't write. <3

Ben woke up to the sound of sizzle and the smell of scrambled eggs with bacon being made in the kitchen. He slowly blinked and yawned, he was stretching his arms and legs when it dawned on him – he was back.

Ben went rigid and his hand immediately flew to his face, then his chest and his hair. Yes, he was definitely back. He threw his head back, laughing. He was back!

He leapt out of his bed, nearly spraining his ankle, and looked around his room. It looked just like he remembered, there was his big king sized bed, a wardrobe, a bookcase and a stack of old records. Well, maybe it was a little bit tidier than before.

He heard a clatter of dishes from the kitchen.

Ben smiled.

Hux.

He didn’t want to waste the time by going to the bathroom to make himself more presentable, so he ruffled his hair a little and walked out of the bedroom. He didn’t stop to inspect his flat to see the changes that had to be there since he altered the past. His goal was to get to the kitchen to greet his handsome ginger boyfriend – or a husband? Fiancé?

“Good morning!” He danced into the room only to stop dead in his tracks. It wasn’t Hux. It was his mother.

“Ben, you’re awake! Finally. I was starting to think that you’re dead,” Leia laughed a little as she pushed the eggs from the pan on a plate.

Ben shook his head and had to lean on the doorframe so he wouldn’t faint or vomit, in the worst case. It was supposed to be Hux. Where was Hux?! “W-What are you doing here?” He stammered, suddenly lightheaded. Maybe Hux just had to work, maybe he already left and was working and that was why he wasn’t here. That was a totally logical explanation. Or not?

“What am I doing here? Poe called me last night, saying that you were drinking too much and monologuing about your love life. He asked me to check on you.”

“Poe?” Ben whispered and sat down on a chair.

“Yes.” She nodded and placed the plate in front of him. “Now eat, I’ll have to go. I have work to do, are you going to be alright?” She ruffled his hair and he swatted her hand away with a groan.

“Yeah, yeah. Where is he? Is he working?” Ben mumbled and looked at her with pleading expression. He didn’t like her frown one bit.

“Who is where? Poe? No, I don’t think so.”

“No, Poe,” Ben shook his head and bit his lip. “Hux.” He looked at his mother.

“Hux?” She frowned and Ben’s stomach dropped. No, this couldn’t be true. Ben could feel tears filling his eyes, his throat tightening. “Ben, honey, what do you mean where is Hux? Are…are you crying?” He shook his head but didn’t protest when she pulled him into an embrace. “Ssshh.”

“I thought… I thought that…that I made it right. I thought that he would be with me.” Ben sobbed, not caring that he didn’t make sense. Hux couldn’t be dead, he just couldn’t. What did he do wrong this time?

“Wasn’t he the ginger kid that went to school with you?” She sighed and pulled out another chair. “I haven’t seen him since the week you told me you liked him. And that was what? Twenty years ago?”

Ben tried no to crumble.  

When his mother left, Ben kept sitting in the kitchen, staring out of the window on the street below.

This was not how he thought it would go. He should go back to the time travelling facility and tell them that he needed to come back one more time and fix this mess.

He hadn’t saved Hux.

He hadn’t saved anything.

Scratch that. That was a lie. Apparently, he saved his relationship with his parents, something that he thought was long lost. But was it a good enough price to pay for losing Hux again? But could he lose him when he never truly had him?

Ben nearly jumped out of his skin when his phone started ringing. “Fuck.” He nearly forgot he had a mobile phone.

He dragged himself up from the table and picked up the device from his couch in the living room.

“Hello, you reached the Sing Sing Correctional Facility. If you want to-”

“Ben, I know it’s you. Stop bullshitting.” It was Poe.

“What do you want, Dameron?”

“Nothing,” Ben could almost hear him shrug, “I’m just checking on you.”

“I thought that you sent my mum here to check on me.”

“Well yeah I did, but she never called me back.”

“I’m alive. Happy?”

“Ecstatic,” Poe answered.

“Fine,” Ben grumbled and ended the call. He fell face first onto the couch and screamed into the cushion.

He didn’t know if he wanted to cry or punch something. Or both at once. Probably both at once.

Wait a minute.

Ben had his phone. And having his phone meant having his internet back. And having his internet back meant that he could easily google Hux’s name and see if he was okay!

“Oh my god, I am an idiot!” He cursed to himself and turned on his back. He misspelt Hux’s name fourth times before getting it right (damn you, big hands).

And Google found nothing.

Nothing.

He tried writing in something different, not only his name but ‘Armitage Hux dead river’ instead.

And the google found nothing once again.

Ben blinked, his heart beating a little bit faster. This could mean only one thing. Armitage was still alive. He hadn’t failed after all!

Except for that he did. Armitage wasn’t with him, he wasn’t his boyfriend or fiancé or husband or anything.

Why did he not remember what happened? He should be able to remember what happened since it was his life, or not? Would the memories of his altered past eventually come to him? Ben groaned and rubbed his eyes; he was terribly confused. And his head was starting to hurt as hell.

In the end, Ben decided to give it some time. Surely the memories would come back to him.

 

They didn’t.

Not even after a week of going to work, which remained mostly the same, the only difference being a family photo on his desk that hadn’t been there before.

Ben resigned on finding things out, he checked his Facebook, he talked with his colleagues but there was nothing more he could do.

It was as if Hux never existed.

Could he possibly erase him from the universe? Maybe it was like in that Shrek movie where Shrek just suddenly stopped existing. 

 

On the second Saturday since his coming back to the present, Ben was lying on the couch in his living room when his phone started ringing on the coffee table. He groaned and grabbed it. He didn’t need to look on the screen to know who was calling him. It could only be one person.

“Yes, Poe? What do you want?” he asked lifelessly. He really didn’t want to talk to anyone. Not now, not ever. He knew that he was probably overreacting and that he should stop behaving like a little petulant child but he wasn’t feeling like himself since he came back.

“I am downstairs, we’re going drinking.”

“What?” Ben groaned. “I’m not going drinking with you.”

“It’s Saturday, we are going drinking,” Poe said as if he hadn’t heard him. “You’ve been acting like a zombie for the past two weeks, this has to stop.” Ben could hear some other voices in the background; it was probably his other co-workers. “Put on some pants and hurry up. If you’re not here in five minutes, you’ll be buying us drinks for the rest of the evening.”

“No, I won’t. Because I’m not coming.”

“Solo, stop pissing me off. C’mon.” Ben rubbed his face when he heard the beeping of an ended call.

He really wasn’t in the mood for going out and he certainly wasn’t in the mood for Poe.

Five minutes passed when Poe called him again.

“What?!” Ben snapped into the phone. “I’ve told you already that I’m not going.”

“If you won’t go, then I’m going to go upstairs and drag you out myself.” Poe nearly growled into the phone. Ben immediately knew that he overstepped. Poe never growled. And Poe rarely got angry. He was one of those stupidly positive people.

“Fine,” Ben rubbed his face as he dragged himself up from his couch. If Poe wanted him to go, he would not make it easy for him.

 

Ben shuffled across his living room to the bedroom, overstepping the dirty clothes on his floor and cans of soda that he couldn’t be bothered to pick up. Poe wanted him to go out? Fine. He would have to wait for him if he wanted him so much.

Ben opened his wardrobe and stared into it for good three minutes. In the end, he chose black jeans and some random t-shirt that didn’t smell too bad when he sniffed it. He then went to the bathroom to make himself more presentable. He rubbed on his chin. When he was a teenager, he used to dream that maybe one day when he’s older, he would have a full beard like the pirates he read about in books. But now, when he was looking at his goatee, he nearly laughed at his foolishness.

Ben brushed his teeth (three times), brushed his hair so many times until it was greasy and he had to wash it again, and put on some cologne that he didn’t remember owning.

When he emerged from the apartment building, Poe was glaring at him from behind the steering wheel and his three colleagues cramped up in the back of the car didn’t look happy either.

“What?” Ben shrugged when he got into the car and slammed the door. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

Poe just rolled his eyes and stepped on the gas pedal.

 

They ended up in one of the bars in the centre. Ben was no stranger to this watering hole since the owner was a friend of Poe’s.

The mood inside the bar was too positive for Ben’s tastes. There was some indie music playing in the background, probably one of the bands that Poe found in one of the Pittsburgh's cellars, and the relatively full tables and booths around them resonated with friendly chatter.

 _How disgusting_ , Ben thought. How could they behave like everything was alright? They were in an alternate reality and didn’t have a clue. They didn’t give a damn that their hair could be longer or shorter if Ben decided to have waffles instead of pancakes in the past. They didn’t give a damn that they could be married, divorced or they didn’t have to be there at all.

And he would give anything for this sweet not knowing.

“Hey, Solo, you with us?”

“Huh?” Ben lifted his head from the glass of beer he was currently nursing and looked at the colleague opposite from him. It was Joey. Ben hated him. He was a spoiled brat with an American eagle tattoo on his back.

“Are you okay, Ben?” Another one, Janette, joined in.

Ben shrugged. He wasn’t okay but he couldn’t continue like this. He had to keep on living.

“Another chap left you?”

Ben snorted. “Yeah, another _chap_ left me.”

“Was he British?” Poe raised his eyebrows. “Again? Ben, I swear to god, you have to leave the British guys be… They’re clearly not made for you.”

Ben didn’t even know he preferred British guys in this reality. Even though it made sense. Hux was British, after all.

“Was he ginger again?” Janette asked.

“What? No!” Ben frowned. So he only dated British gingers now? That was really something.  

“He was ginger,” Joey smirked knowingly and took a sip from his pint.

Ben grunted – he had nothing to say in his defence. He didn’t remember his last fling, he didn’t remember being into more ginger British men than one. And so he decided to just roll with it. “Fine, you got me here. He left me because I was a big fucking jerk.”

“No wonder you’ve been all weird these past days,” Janette shook her head and sighed as if Ben’s love life was affecting her as well.

“Yeah, whatever.”

Luckily, this little confession seemed to do the trick because they left him be and went back to talking about their own problems. Such as the diarrhoea of Janette’s Shih-Tzu (if you don’t want your dog to have problems with its excrements, then don’t buy a dog with shit in its name) and some other mundane things Ben couldn’t care less about.

 

After half an hour, Ben decided that he was playing a sociable person for long enough and got up from the table, “I think I’ll go home,” he put his hands into his pockets and nodded towards the exit. To his utmost misfortune, Joey and Janette got up too. Joey way less gracefully since he had six beers and Janette only three.

“We’ll go with you!”

“I’ll walk,” Ben said to get rid of them.

Janette only laughed. “I think, that some fresh air would do Joey good. We’ll walk with you.”

Poe snorted and nodded. “She’s right. I’m going to stay here for a little longer if you don’t mind, my better half has his friends over and they kinda…hate me? So…yeah,” Poe laughed humourlessly and rubbed his face. “See you tomorrow?”

They all nodded, said their goodbyes and headed out.

 

Ben was really looking forward to walking home alone but instead, he was about to get twenty more minutes of their stupid talking. When did he become so hateful against everyone? Oh yes, it was probably when he travelled back in time and back to the present and lost his one and only lover. Who was not even his lover in the first place.

Maybe he was just being stupid.

Maybe he was the problem.

And as if he wasn’t miserable enough, it started raining. Ben groaned and put on his hoodie.

“Hey, Ben!” Joey laughed suddenly and punched him in his shoulder. Joey was almost two heads shorter than he was so it was a very admirable act. “You said you like ginger guys, huh?”

Ben looked at Joey and saw him approaching some homeless man who was sitting on a cardboard box pad by the wall in a back alley. He rolled his eyes; the last thing he needed today was for some homeless guy to run after them. He wondered who was more drunk – Joey or the guy in the alley?  

“Wouldn’t you like this one, huh? Is he ginger enough?” Joey stopped in front of the man and bowed down so he would see into the man’s face. “God, you’re ugly,” he snorted and walked away back to the main street.

Janette looked at Ben with an apology written in her face and took Joey by his elbow. “Come, JoJo, we’ll walk you home.” They started walking again, leaving Ben standing on the sidewalk. “You coming, Ben?!” Janette turned and called.

Ben scratched his nose a little and looked at them, then at the man who was shivering under the rain. “No, I… I just…Go without me, okay?” Was he really that desperate to get rid of his colleagues that he was thinking about going to help a total stranger who homeless on top of it?

Apparently, yes.

Ben watched them turn around and continue walking, then disappeared into the back alley. It was raining but he could still smell the stench. Oh god, what was he doing?

“Hey, um…I’m sorry for that idiot. Um…He should have left you alone,” Ben sighed and looked the man over. He was clearly underfed, Ben could tell from his hollow cheeks. And he was probably sick because he was pale as a walking corpse. His hair was long and matted and so was his beard. Ben wasn’t sure if this guy was even ginger because he was wet as a street rat.

The man looked up at him, blinking slowly into the rain. He was probably Ben’s age, which was quite young for a homeless and Ben suddenly felt guilty. Maybe he was a victim of his time travelling too. Maybe he ended up on the street because Ben fucked up, maybe in the other life, he was a model or maybe just a man with a wife and kids and nice little house in the suburbs.

Ben started patting his pockets for his wallet. It was the last thing he could do for him. He handed him the last fifty bucks he had on himself and smiled hesitantly. “Here, take this. I’m sure you need it more than I do. Go and buy yourself an umbrella or whatever.” Smooth, Ben. Very smooth.

The man blinked at him once again, there was something strangely familiar about the colour of his eyes.

“I’m Ben, by the way. I have no idea why I’m telling you this, though. I should…I should go. Sorry for bothering you. Fingers crossed so it stops raining soon, right?” Ben laughed awkwardly and started walking away.

“Ben?”

He stopped.

The man behind him started coughing, rather nastily.

Ben turned around and frowned a little. When the man stopped coughing, Ben walked closer to him and sighed, squatting so he wouldn’t be staring at him from the top like a vulture. “Here, take this…” He took off his hoodie and handed it to him. “It’s probably big but, yeah…”

The man on the ground gave him a weak smile. “I was praying for the day you would come and save me.”

Ben blinked at him. What was he talking about? Was he a lunatic? “What?”

The homeless man closed his eyes and rested his head against the brick wall. “You don’t recognize me.” It wasn’t a question.

“I don’t?”

Ben watched him dig into his old well-worn jacket and outstretch his hand.

There, on his palm, was an old lego brick keychain.


	10. The One with a Warm Meal

Ben was staring at the faded deep red lego brick which was lying on the hand of the man in front of him. He felt a lump forming in his throat, his stomach was tightening and there was an inner tremor in his core. He looked away from the keychain to the man who was holding it.

His hair was long and easily reached under his shoulders, matted and looked greasy even now when it was wet from the cold rain. The lower half of his face was hidden behind a bushy and shabby beard. Still, Ben could clearly see that there were small nicks on his skin and that his cheeks were hollow from not eating well enough. His eyes, the eyes that Ben remembered to shine and dance with life, were now without their spark and full of tears and embarrassment, maybe even fear.

“Armitage,” Ben breathed out with a sense of uncertainty. He didn’t want to believe what he was seeing. This had to be some cruel joke. He couldn’t possibly be looking at the prim boy he met in high school.

Hux nodded, once and slowly, closed his eyes and leaned his head once again against the stone wall. He let out a shuddering breath as a few tears crawled down his dirty skin.

“Shit,” Ben cursed under his breath and ran a hand through his hair. What was he supposed to say or do? He was feeling utterly miserable and the ongoing rain and chill that started to seep into his body certainly didn’t help him. “Shit. Are you...Are you okay? What happened? How-How?” Ben was stuttering, his eyes flitting across Armitage’s face and body.

“I’m marvellous,” Armitage mumbled. “You really should go, it’s...it’s cold.” He handed Ben back his hoodie and money. “Just go.”

Ben blinked at him and resolutely shook his head. “No! No, I mean… keep the money. And the hoodie, you...you must be cold. Fuck, Hux, this is...Come with me, okay? You can’t stay here. It’s raining.”

“To come with you?”

“Yes,” Ben nodded eagerly.

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea. What would your...partner say? I don’t think they would like you to bring home some disgusting reeking homeless man.” Hux snorted humourlessly and shook his head.

“What? No. I don’t have a partner, Hux,” Ben said resolutely and took Hux’s hand into his own, folding his fingers so he would make him hide the dollars in his palm. “I don’t have anyone.”  _ Because I thought that I would be with you, but now you’re homeless and I’m miserable. _

“I don’t need your help, Solo,” Armitage answered with a frown. “I’m not your pity case, okay? Just go. You ruined my life well enough.”

Ben stared at him. Did he ruin his life? With what exactly? How could it be his fault that he ended up like this? Oh, how he wished he would remember.

“Okay, fine,” Ben said at last and lowered his head, nibbling on his lower lip. “I’ll leave you under one condition.” Hux didn’t say anything so he took it as a cue to continue, “You will go with me now, just this time. Because it’s raining and I can’t live with the thought that I left you here. Tomorrow you can go anywhere you like, okay?”

There came another long silence, which was ended with a snort. “Are you fucking crazy?”

Ben blinked – he certainly didn’t expect this. “What?”

“You heard me. You really think that I would go with you? I’ve said it already; I’m not your pity case. I’m not here to make you feel better about yourself.”

Ben didn’t understand anything. Why would Hux refuse his help? He was literally homeless and sitting in the rain, shivering with cold. “I don’t want to pity you,” Ben frowned. Except that he did pity him.

“You don’t? Bullshit,” Hux shook his head and winced in pain. “You haven’t seen me for twenty years and now you want to take me home five minutes after meeting me again? That’s a little bit strange, even for you, don’t you think?”

“Of course it’s not strange! We were friends, Hux!”

“No, we weren’t.” Hux looked at him with something similar to anger. “We weren’t friends. Phasma was my friend. Mitaka was my friend. Not you.”

“What?!” Ben looked at him incredulously. “Why would you say something like that? I thought… We had something special between us!” He was starting to see red. He saved Hux’s life and this was how he was treating him?

“Something special,” Hux snorted again. “Something special my ass.” Hux could feel his throat constricting. “You left me there.”

“I left you where? What are you even talking about?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Well, apparently it does since you’re behaving like this.”

“I am behaving like this?” Hux laughed with a desperation in his voice. “Are you even listening to yourself?” He pulled his jacket closer to his body, cradling it. “Just go, I really don’t want to talk to you anymore.”  _ Please stay, stay and take me home and never leave me,  _ screamed the irrational part of Hux’s mind.

“You want me to go?”

“Yes,” Hux rasped.

Ben kept looking at him for a few more moments, nibbling on his lower lip. “Okay.” He nodded finally and huffed a little. “Fine. Enjoy the rest of your life then.” He turned on his heel and walked away.

Hux was left staring after Ben’s now tall and broad figure, not daring to move or breathe until Ben was out of his sight. When he was alone, he crumbled.

Violent sobs shook his whole body. This was not how it was supposed to be. This was not how he thought it would go. And certainly not how he dreamed it would end.

He just couldn’t go with Ben, he couldn’t let him see how disgusting and dirty and miserable he was. He was so ashamed.

And he had driven Ben away.

His first crush.

His first love.

His first –

What the hell was he doing?

 

Ben was livid.

How could he be so naive and think that Hux would go with him? That bastard. He just wanted to help him! Give him some warm food and roof above his head at least for one night. Especially since it was raining and not so warm anymore.

Hux could stay there if he desired it so much, he could stay there in the rain and catch a cold and die-

Ben stopped.

“Fuck this shit,” he mumbled and turned around.

He wouldn’t let Hux die. He had finally found him. He would not screw it up again.

Just when Ben turned around the corner, he collided with something solid that made a very frightening screech.

Ben nearly yelped and took a step back.

It was Hux.

Hux, who had red eyes and who was looking at him as if he had just seen a ghost.

“Shit, you scared me,” Ben breathed out and took a hold of his shoulders to stabilise him a little. His eyes travelled to the orange furry head, which was peeking from under his jacket where Hux opened it. It was a cat, a cat Ben nearly squished, and which was now hissing in his direction.

“I-I’m sorry,” Hux stuttered. “I’m really sorry. But I...I…”

“Changed your mind?”

“Millie shouldn’t suffer because of my decision. We will leave the first thing in the morning. I hope she can go too or I’m not going. We will find a shelter elsewhere.” Ben nodded that yes, of course, she could go. It was only then that he noticed that the cat wasn’t the only thing Hux had with him. He had an old looking bag over one of his shoulders. It was probably filled with clothes or food.  

“I don’t have a car here so we will have to walk if that’s okay with you.”

Hux snorted. “Yes, it’s...it’s okay. Of course,” he mumbled and shook his head. “I promise we will leave before you wake up, we won’t disturb you. I still think that you shouldn’t do this but Millicent is cold. You don’t even know me. You shouldn’t-”

“I know you.” Ben looked at him as they continued walking.

“No,” Hux shook his head. “You never did. That boy you think you knew, he’s long gone. People change. I could… I could murder you in your sleep and run away with all your money.”

“You wouldn’t do that.”

“No, I wouldn’t. But that’s not the point!”

“Armitage,” Ben sighed and stopped to look at him. He took the bag from Hux’s shoulder and gave him a slight smile. “You won’t change my mind.”

 

Ben unlocked the door to his apartment and turned on the lights in his small hall. “Home, sweet home,” he mumbled as he went inside and took off his shoes.

He set the bag down on the floor and turned to Hux. Armitage was looking on the ground with an expression that Ben couldn’t place. Maybe he shouldn’t have said ‘home sweet home’ when he was talking to a homeless person.

“Um, so… Can you take off your shoes? And… And you can use my bathroom and I will make you something for dinner if that’s okay? Then we can talk.”

Armitage only nodded and mumbled a silent okay. He reluctantly took off his chucks and looked with disdain at his dirty, almost threadbare socks. It was probably better than his shoes though.

“Right, so the bathroom is there,” Ben pointed, “the toilet is in the same room if you need that. And I’m… The kitchen is there,” he nodded towards the kitchen and pushed his hands into his pockets.

 

Hux looked around Ben’s living room, putting his weight on one foot and then on the other. He was feeling utterly horrible. He shouldn’t be here, he should just turn around and walk away and never look back. He looked around the room and bit his lip. There was a comfortable looking sofa with some pillows and a blanket. A table, a bookcase, a gaming console and empty pizza boxes. It was a mess and certainly lived in and nothing he would imagine for himself some twenty years ago. But now Armitage would be glad if he could at least have a mattress.

He looked towards where Ben pointed and nodded once again. “Okay,” he rasped and cleared his throat. He was trying not to feel overwhelmed but it was already too much for him. “Where can I...Where can I put Millie?”

“Millie?” Ben turned to him from the kitchen door to where he moved to in the meantime.

Hux fully opened his jacket and Ben could see the cat – fully, for the first time. “Yes, Millie. My cat.”

“Oh shit, yes. I totally forgot. Sorry,” Ben looked at him sheepishly. “You can put her on the floor, I guess? I will give her some water and food, all right?”

Hux nodded and squatted down; he put Millicent on the floor and petted her head. “Be a good girl, love. I’m going to be right back, okay?” He scratched her under her chin and stood up. “Benjamin?”

“Yes?”

“Um, would you give me some towel or...something, please? Just so you could throw it in the trash afterwards. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy.”

“Oh!” Ben reddened and groaned. “I’m so stupid. Shit, I’m sorry. I’ll give you a clean towel,” Ben quickly went back to the hall where he stored towels in a built-in closet. “Here.” He gave Hux one of his newer ones. “You can use my shampoo and shower gel and everything, I don’t really mind.” Ben then went to the bathroom, and pulled out a brand new toothbrush from a cabinet under the sink and put it atop of it. “You can use this if you want. It’s...new.” He scratched his head and sharply turned around back to Hux, who was standing in the doorway. “Is that all?” Ben asked and then mentally slapped himself, “Clothes!”

“You really don’t have to-”

“No! I really want to. Give me a sec!”

Hux moved out of the way so Ben could go wherever he wanted to go to get him some clean clothes. He was so embarrassed. Ben shouldn’t give him any clothes, not new, not old ones. They didn’t know each other, they were strangers and Hux certainly didn’t want to be his charity case. He eyed the toothbrush lying on the sink and desperately tried to keep from crying.

Ben’s bathroom was designed in grey and silver. He always dreamed about having his own bathroom in white and gold.

“Here you go.” Ben’s voice brought Hux back to the reality and he turned around. The other man was handing him what looked like sweatpants and a t-shirt. When Hux didn’t give him any sign of wanting to take the clothes from him, Ben put them on the lid of his laundry basket and gave him a little smile. “I’m going to be in the kitchen.”

 

As soon as Ben closed the door behind him, Hux had to brace himself against the sink so he wouldn’t faint. It was all too much for him. He looked at the clothes Ben brought for him and shook his head. He wouldn’t take them, he couldn’t.

“What have you gotten yourself into, you idiot,” Hux mumbled and raised his face towards the mirror. He blinked, slowly, and let out a deep breath. He didn’t recognize the face staring wearily at him from the other side. He looked hideous. He looked disgusting.

He couldn’t look at himself any longer and turned away from the wretched thing hanging on the wall. He went to stand in the shower while still in his clothes –  he didn’t want to see himself or to dirty Ben’s floor. As soon as he was in, he took off his jacket and folded it before setting it on the tiled shower floor. His fleece hoodie and t-shirt soon followed, as well as his jeans, socks and underwear. Armitage looked at the neatly folded pile in the corner of the shower and sighed. He couldn’t remember when was the last time he was fully naked and standing in a shower that would have a pleasantly warm water.

He turned the water on a let it cascade over his face and shoulders. He felt as it danced down his back and buttocks, down over his thighs and calves and down to the drain in a spiral of dirt mixed with sweat.  Hux didn’t dare look down on the water, he didn’t want to see how filthy he was. He only wanted to enjoy the heat seeping into his tired muscles and bones. But then… He didn’t want Ben to pay high bills because of his indulgence.

Hux washed his hair and body using only his hands because he didn’t want to ruin Ben’s green lufa, and when he felt clean enough he left the shower. He scrubbed himself dry and nearly raw with the towel Ben gave him and only after putting on Ben’s clothes, he dared to look at himself in the mirror again. His long hair was pointing into various directions and curling in a way he hasn’t seen it do in a very long time.  

He looked like a wet rat.

He didn’t want to go there, looking like this and face Ben Solo, of all people. He knew it was rude but he was sure that Ben would understand, and so he started rummaging through his cabinet and looking for scissors. His searching was rather quick and he soon started cutting the overgrown locks into a somehow more civilised look. He ended with them being a little bit above his shoulders when he decided that it looked sufficient enough, for a homeless guy anyway. He wouldn’t use Ben’s razor and so he started cutting his beard with the same scissors right after finishing with his hair. He didn’t want a clean shave, no. He couldn’t bear looking at what would be hiding under the ginger full beard.

When he was finished, he rubbed on his jaw and face and ruffled his hair a little, so it would dry faster. He looked like his own grandfather in the old photos his grandma showed him as a kid. And he certainly felt like him.

Hux eyed the toothbrush mocking him from the sink. He knew he should use it but he was getting a headache only from thinking about how it was going to hurt. He had to do it though; he couldn’t talk to Ben with a smelly breath. He was doing this for Ben, not for himself. Certainly not for himself. He let out a long breath as he wetted the toothbrush and squeezed a bit of toothpaste on it, opening his mouth. Even opening it hurt a little. Armitage closed his eyes and tried to brush his teeth as gently as possible, cursing his life with each stroke. There wasn’t a chance he would smile again, not ever.

 

Ben was stirring tomato sauce on a pan when he heard the water in the bathroom stop. He thought that Hux would be there longer; he sure would be if he were Hux. He hoped that his clothes would fit the other man. He was a tad shorter than Ben and definitely excessively thinner than he was. But it wasn’t like he had a choice. Ben was thinking about giving him his bag so he could wear something of his but then decided against it. He would offer Hux if he wants him to wash his clothes, that was a reasonable and good thing to do. Or not?

Ben sighed and added some salt. He hoped that Hux didn’t mind chilli peppers. He looked over his shoulder to where Millicent was sitting just a minute ago. She was nowhere in sight but at least she wolfed down the food he gave her. God knows when she had last eaten, though Ben was sure that she could eat more often than Hux since she was a cat and could just hunt down a rat or something.

Ben started serving the plates on the coffee table when he caught a glimpse of movement by the bathroom door. He looked up and there he was, Armitage Hux, standing in between the door of his bathroom, in his flat. Breathing and living. He had a towel around his neck because his hair was still a little wet, he obviously cut his hair and shortened his beard and was wearing Ben’s clothes; he was absolutely swimming in them. In his hands was Millicent, who was purring and nudging her head under Hux’s chin.

“Hello there,” Ben smiled at him a little.

“Benjamin.”

“Is everything all right?” Ben motioned for Hux to sit down in the armchair and sat opposite from him on the couch.

“Yes, the shower was wonderful, thank you.” Hux nodded and eyed the food on the table with suspicion. “I...I left the clothes in the shower, I wanted to ask...If it’s not a big problem. Could I possibly wash them? Please?”

Ben blinked and nodded, almost immediately. “Well yes, of course. I can put them into the washing machine and then into the dryer.” He put the plate and set it on his lap. “I hope that you don’t mind spicy food.”

Hux shook his head, “Thank you,” he mumbled and let Millicent jump down on the floor. He then took the plate too and started eating. He couldn’t remember when was the last time he had something warm. Probably a month ago when he slept in a shelter. It was a bean soup. Ben’s spaghetti were much better.

The rest of their eating continued in an awkward silence. A silence that reminded Hux how strange and horrible it was that he was in Ben Solo’s apartment. He shouldn’t be here. He should leave. “Ben, I--”

“What happened, Hux?” Ben blurted out, not letting him finish whatever it was he wanted to say. “Why...How?”

“Why how?” Hux repeated and raised his eyebrows.

“Yes.” Ben nodded. “Shit, I’m sorry, I just-- This is so crazy! I mean… You just--”

“Why would you want to know, Ben? Why do you care?”

“Because it’s you, Hux.”

“Do you get off on this or something?” Hux spat, the embarrassment getting the better of him.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Hux mumbled and crossed his arms.

“I won’t laugh at you, Armitage. If that’s what you’re afraid of. I promise,” Ben sighed and leaned on his knees. “I just want to know.”

“You just want to know.”

“Yes,” Ben nodded and rubbed on his face.

Hux kept looking at him for a few moments and then nodded. “You told me that I should go to my father and talk to him, remember? And I didn’t want to… I really didn’t. But I trusted you. I trusted you and I went to him and told him that I wanted to study photography. And he… My own father, that old bastard, he,” Hux cleared his throat, “he fucking framed me.”

“What?”

“You heard me,” Hux scoffed. “He… He framed me, told the police that I stole his money that he had hidden under his bed and that I tried to kill him when he caught me stealing it. So I...I couldn’t do anything, I was...I was only eighteen and they, they took me and put me in the jail. I was fucking eighteen, do you understand?!”

“N-no.” Ben shook his head, “I mean yes. But no--what?”

“They gave me ten years. They looked me in the eyes and told me that I am to go to a fucking jail because I wanted to study photography instead of taking over that bastard’s company!” Hux was getting red in the face, “They left me out after eight years because I was a good boy and didn’t make trouble. My stupid father was dead by then and all my relatives, meaning Maratelle, were back in England. And so I stayed here, alone, without anyone who would help me. I had not finished high school; I had no money, no family… I don’t even have visa nor am I the citizen of the United States of fucking America.”

“I am so sorry, Armitage,” Ben whispered. He didn’t know what to say or how to react. He felt so stupid. He had screwed everything up. It was his fault Hux went to his father, his fault that this happened to him. That he was on the streets for twelve years and counting.

“Yes, well. It wasn’t your fault, you don’t have to be sorry,” Hux looked towards the ceiling and folded his hands in his lap. “I’m not always…I’m not always on the street, just so you know. I…I sometimes sleep in a shelter, with the other lucky people. And sometimes they let me stay in the library if my clothes are lean enough. I like to read there. I tried to find some jobs but they won’t hire me anywhere, I have no diploma, I have no school… and as I said, I don’t have a visa. It’s a vicious circle,” he was speaking quietly now, only a hair above a whisper.

“Surely there has to be something you could do, Hux. Don’t tell me that they won’t hire you anywhere.”

Hux looked at him, “I tried everything, okay? They just won’t.”

“But many people are working illegally, why-“

“Oh for Christ sake, leave it, okay?” Hux spat. “I shouldn’t have told you anything, this was a fucking mistake. I shouldn’t have come here.” He got up from the armchair, taking the towel from his shoulders and throwing it on the backrest.

“Where are you going?” Ben looked at him warily.

“I’m leaving.” Hux scooped Millicent from the ground and walked to the hall, Ben was in his heels. “You can throw the clothes in the bathroom away, I guess. They’re filthy. Just like me.”

“Hux, wait, you don’t have to go.”

“No, I really have to, Ben.”

“Armitage, please.” Ben took him by the hand when Hux leaned down for his bag. “Please.”

Hux looked at their joined hands, biting his lip. Ben was holding his hand. Touching him. And he didn’t seem disgusted by it.

“Okay,” Hux mumbled. Maybe he could stay. Just for one night.

He really wanted to stay. 


	11. The One with an Employee of the Month

Ben woke up to the sound of rain behind the windows and to his room clad in muted colours. Everything about this weather screamed that staying in bed would be the best idea today; however, Ben had other plans. He yawned and rubbed his jaw, which was starting to get scratchy. He hadn’t slept much during the night, because he was woken up at three in the morning by an awful sounding coughing coming from the living room. Ben got scared for a minute before he remembered that there’s a visitor in his apartment. He found Hux by the window, looking down at the city; Ben gave him some water and pills for sore throat, and went to sleep. Hux said it was only a cough anyway. Ben thought it was logical, he probably caught a cold in the rainy weather, and so he didn’t press on.

Ben rolled onto his other side and shuddered when a freezing sensation ran across his spine.

“All right, let’s make breakfast,” he muttered to himself and got up from the bed, his knees cracking as he swung his legs over the edge of it. He didn’t bother with putting clothes on; he was secretly hoping that he would lure Hux closer to him with his body, but was set right when he entered the living room and saw that it was empty.

“Hux?” Ben looked around the room. The shower wasn’t running and he couldn’t hear anything, which meant that Hux wasn’t in the bathroom either. “Hux?” He tried looking into the kitchen but it was empty as well. “Damn it.” He kicked the kitchen counter.

Hux was gone. Of course that he was gone.

Ben lost him again.

And he didn’t even say goodbye. He didn’t know where Hux went. He didn’t know how or where to find him.

Ben walked back to the living room and sat down on the couch with his face in his hands. He rubbed his eyes and sighed. He didn’t know why he expected Hux to stay a little bit longer. As he was looking at the table in front of him, he noticed that Hux took the pills he gave him during the night. That was better than nothing, probably. Definitely.

 

Ben worked during the weekends and this one was even busier than usual so he didn’t have much time to stop and think about Hux. Ben worked for a little event company that was dealing with starting musicians and organised concerts for them across the city.

On Thursday when he was walking home from one of the gigs, he noticed a beggar sitting on the ground, leaning against a wall of a hardware store. He was just sitting there, on a paper box, with a plastic cup in front of him and a German shepherd across his lap.

Ben stopped right in front of him. Hux. This man looked nothing like Hux.

The man looked at Ben from under his knitted cap and gave him an almost toothless smile, “Got few bucks to spare, kiddo?”

Ben would have said no if it were a week ago but now he just couldn’t. “Sure,” he nodded and patted himself to find his wallet. “Here,” he fished out few dollar bills and pressed them into the man’s outstretched hand. “Take these.”

The man’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Whoa, thank you, kiddo. I really didn’t think you’d give me anything,” he laughed.

“Yeah, yeah. At least don’t spend it on booze.” Ben waved his hand and started walking again. He took a few steps and stopped, turning around. “Can I ask you a question?” he addressed the homeless man. “Do you know anyone named Armitage Hux?”

The man shook his head. “I ain’t know no Hux. Sounds like some snobbish prick if you ask me.”

Ben frowned a little. “Yeah, that… Okay. Forget I asked.” He shook his head and started walking again. Truth was, Hux probably was a snobbish prick. Or at least, he used to be. He was sweet and lovely, but still a prick.

“If I were looking for someone like me, kiddo, I would start with the shelters. They usually have names, you know? Could help you. Wouldn’t bet on it though, most of the folks won’t share them with strangers.”

Ben kept looking at the man for a few seconds more before he nodded and was on his way.

Shelters were probably a good idea, come to think of it, and so Ben camped down in the nearest Starbucks, ordered a hot chocolate with extra cream and sat down to try to google shelters that would admit homeless people with animals.

 

Finding Armitage was even harder than Ben thought it would be. As it turned out, you could bring your animal companion into far too many shelters. And so Ben had to drive from one shelter to another until he reached the one he was searching for, or at least the one that would point him in the right direction.

 

"Armitage Hux?" A woman with round glasses looked at him from behind the computer. "I'm sorry, sir, but we are not allowed to—"

"I know, I know. You're not allowed to tell me anything about your clients if I'm not the family because it's against your policies." Ben said rather impatiently, he heard this song for way too many times. He understood the rule but he was annoyed by it to no end.

"Exactly." She smiled at him politely. "May I ask why are you looking for him? Are you police?"

"No, I'm... He's my..." Ben was at lost. What was he supposed to say? What exactly was he to Armitage Hux? His friend? Hardly.

However, the lady behind the counter took his stuttering as a good enough answer. "I see." She nodded.

"It's not like that!" Ben blushed, red as a lobster. "We used to go to high school together. He left something at my place and I would like to give it to him but I don't know how to reach him, he's not exactly in a possession of a phone."

The lady, Rebecca her nametag said, hummed and tapped her chin. She then gave him a conspirational look and in a hushed voice said: "I would really like to help you, you seem like an okay fella, but we do not have anyone by the name Armitage Hux in our database. Many of our residents don't even give us their real or full names." She looked back at her monitor and typed something using only two of her fingers. She looked at the screen, then at Ben and then around her as if to see if anyone was watching them. "I have only one man with the first name Armitage and one with a surname like this."

"Is he here?!" Ben couldn't hold back his excitement. Rebecca gave him a stern look and he smiled at her apologetically. "I'm sorry, I've been to three shelters already and you're the first one who is willing to talk to me," he said in a normal volume.

"No, I'm sorry." She nodded.

Ben raised his eyebrows. "Is that a yes?"

"No." She nodded once again.

"Oh. I'm...Okay." Ben scratched his neck and sighed. That man didn't even have to be his Armitage, he had no reason to have his hopes high.

"Our residents are having dinner right now; he's however listed to be staying the night. It seems that he got lucky. I mean, he would, if he was here. Which he isn't. _He is_ ," she added in a stage whisper.

"And where could I find him if he was here?"

Rebecca gave him a smile. "I would suggest you go through this door," she pointed, "and then you should go to the end of the corridor and wait here until he exits the cafeteria."

Ben was so happy he almost hugged her. He thanked Rebecca and ran to the direction where she told him to go. _Calm your tits, Ben._ He leaned against the blueish wall and fought the urge to slide down onto the floor and wait like that. He was tired and jittery, and that was never a good combination.

 

Ben didn't know how long he waited, but soon after, people started to exit the cafeteria, some of them looked worse than the others, some of them women with kids. That was insane. He couldn’t imagine living on the street with children. What had happened in their lives that they had no family or friends to take care of them?

At least they were not alone in their misery.

He would surely mind less if he was being homeless with somebody he loved.

He wouldn't mind being homeless with Hux.

Would Hux mind being homeless with him?

"How did you find me?" A sharp voice interrupted Ben's inner monologue about homelessness. "What are you doing here?"

Ben raised his eyes from the ground and saw him. There, standing in front of him, Armitage Hux. Hux looked a little bit better than the last time they met, probably because his beard was still not so shabby looking after he trimmed it at Ben's place. He had some colour in his cheeks, thanks to a warm soup and the chicken Ben heard the other boarders talking about. "Hey," he said stupidly and waved his hand a little.

"I asked you something." Armitage was looking at him with a sharp gaze, his arms crossed on his chest.

"I had been looking for you, I... Armitage, look, I... I want to help you."

"I don't need your help; now leave me the fuck alone." Hux turned on his heel and stalked towards the stairs and up to the second level of the building.

Ben knew that he should listen to him, he really did. But he didn't listen. He didn't run after him because he didn't want to cause a scene, but not after he reached the same landing as Hux and saw someone closing one of the doors in the hall. It had to be Hux.

Ben knocked on the door, gentle and cautious.

"Go away." Was the only answer. That and coughing, not better than what woke Ben up several nights before.

"Armitage, please. Be reasonable." Ben leaned with his forehead against the door. "I just want to talk. Please."

 

Ben had been sitting on the floor for several minutes before the door finally opened. He looked to his left and didn't see Hux, only the door that was now opened slightly. He scrambled out of the floor and dusted off his butt. He knocked softly before entering.

What Ben saw was not what he expected.

He expected a small room with one bed and a toilet or something, a cell-like room. What was in front of him was nothing like it. There were four bunk beds, each of them full, and seventeen pairs of eyes staring at him.

"Um, hey," he greeted sheepishly and gulped. "I...I didn't want to disturb you or anything, I just...Armitage," he looked at Hux pleadingly and nodded towards the hall. "Please."

Hux sighed and got up, Millicent jumped from his lap onto the floor and stretched. Bed waited for him in the hall and smiled at him once again when Armitage closed the door behind himself.

"You have five minutes."

Ben nodded and put his hands into pockets. "Look, I was thinking..."

"Did it hurt? I heard that the first time usually hurts."

"Ha ha. No. I noticed that you took the pills I gave you, are you feeling any better?"

"It's just a cough." Hux shrugged, his jaw clenching.

"That's not an answer and you know it."

Again, Hux shrugged. "What's it for you? I don't have to tell you anything, Solo. Just leave me be." He turned and wanted to go back inside the room but Ben's hand stopped him. Hux winced as he felt Ben grasping his forearm, visibly shaken by the sudden contact. "Leave me," he commanded with a soft voice. _Don't make me beg you._

"Let me take you to a doctor, Hux."

Armitage closed his eyes, trying to will the tears away. "Let me go," he pleaded gently.

"Just a regular check-up, I promise. I... I won't go there with you, I'll wait in the corridor if you want me to. Just please, let me help you, please."

"Ben—"

"Just a regular check-up, I promise." Ben interrupted him mid-sentence with his never-ending babbling.

"Ben!" Hux turned around, done with all of this. Done with being reasonable. He didn't want to listen to this anymore, he didn't ask for this, he didn't ask for Ben to come and find him again. He wanted to be free of him, free of this eternal feeling of nothingness and uselessness. He wanted to hide under the blanket he paid for tonight and sleep and sleep and nothing more. The truth was far too harsh to handle. "I don't have an insurance."

Realisation dawned upon Ben. Hux didn't have an insurance. He said that he didn't have a visa. He was an illegal.

"I can pay for it," Ben blurted out the first thing that came to his mind. Plus, he felt like it was the right thing to do. He got Hux into this mess, after all.

"No." Armitage shook his head. "I don't want your money, you've done enough. You—" There, the burning sensation in his chest and throat. The never stopping itch that he couldn't get rid of. It was only a cough until it wasn't. Now it was a lie he told himself every time he felt like giving up under a piece of newspaper instead of a roof during cold nights. Now wasn't time for bravery. Armitage didn't want Ben's pity; he realised that the only person that should take pity on him was himself. "All right," he mumbled the soft SOS about which he was sure that would be haunting him for many nights to come.

 

Ben closed the trunk of his car and hopped inside. Armitage was already buckled up, holding Millicent on his lap, staring out of the window. Be remembered when he was sitting in a car with him for the last time, it was the other way around. Ben didn't have the money for a car then and now... Hux didn't have a money for a warm meal.

The ride to a hospital wasn't that long but now it felt like waiting for a bell to ring during a Maths class.

"Should I put the music on?" Ben looked over at Hux who only shrugged. "Okay," Ben mumbled and put the radio on. The chorus of ABBA's Fernando blasting out of the speakers.

"Figures," Hux scoffed next to him and closed his eyes.

 

"This isn't a hospital," Hux observed when Ben stopped at a parking lot in front of a smaller building with a huge "Medical Care Centre" banner on it.

"An urgent care, I know a doctor here. She'll take you in without any questions since you don't have an ID or anything."

Hux looked at him and nodded, he certainly didn't want to end up in a jail. Again. "Thank you."

"No problem, come." Ben got out of the car and waited for Hux to catch up with him before closing the vehicle. "I'll talk to her about your situation and then you can go in alone, all right?" Hux nodded. "I'll pay for anything that needs to be paid for, so don't worry about it. You can pay me back when you have the money," Ben added before Hux could protest.

 

Hux didn't want Ben to go with him inside of the surgery. The doctor offered but Hux declined when Ben asked him; he wasn't ready to strip in front of him. And so he was now sitting on a chair, fidgeting with his hands in his lap. The doctor, in her late forties and with light purple hair falling in gentle waves around her face, was sitting behind her table, writing something down. To be honest, Armitage certainly wouldn't expect this hair colour on a doctor her age.

"So what brings you here, Mr. Hux?" She looked at him when she stopped typing, putting moon shaped glasses down from the top of her head.

Mr. Hux. Nobody had ever called him Mr. Hux. Mr. Hux was his father. Armitage could feel bile rise to his throat. "I...I have a cough."

She hummed, "That's understandable, in such a weather. Ben said that you—"

"I'm homeless, yes," Armitage spat.

She didn't comment on it, only nodded. "Do you have any other problems? Any diseases I should know about?"

Armitage shook his head, "I’m clean if that's what you're asking. I don't do drugs or...stuff. I’ve...never done any stuff. I don't smoke."

"Tell me more about that cough of yours. How long do you have it?"

"I...I honestly don't know, Doctor. It just...Burns and itches. And hurts, here." He put his hand to the centre of his chest. "I have a fever, sometimes... But—," he shrugged.

"All right, let me look at you." She smiled at him a little as she got up from her desk and put the stethoscope into her ears. "I have to ask you to strip; you can leave your pants on." Armitage looked at her and nodded, reluctantly. When he was half-naked and trembling a little, she raised her brows. "You're clearly malnourished but I'm sure that Ben can help you with this. You're staying with him, right?"

"No, I—"

"No?" She frowned, "Deep breath, now." She put the stethoscope to his chest and Armitage shook his head. "That's nonsense. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you stayed with him. And you shouldn't suffer in the cold just because you think that you would be a burden for him. Turn around."

"We are not friends anymore." Armitage did as she instructed.

"Do you think he would bring you here if you weren't friends?" She looked up to him and nodded a little when she saw his expression. "Okay now. I have to say that I don't like this a bit, I will have to take a scan and all the necessary tests. Lay down now, I'll take a look if there's anything else in the game."

 

When Hux put his shirt back on and sat down next to the doctor’s desk, he felt immensely tired. Amilyn, as the doctor insisted he called her, was frowning at the X-ray photograph. That couldn’t mean anything good, could it?

“Is it bad?” Armitage mumbled and scratched on his beard. “Am I dying?”

Amilyn smiled at him softly and shook his head, “No, you’re not dying, don’t worry. It’s pneumonia, and it’s not a light one. I’m going to give you antibiotics and you will have to rest a lot. You can’t go to the hospital so we will have to improvise a little. You’re still young, you’re going to be all right. But that means you’re going to stay with Ben.”

“I can’t stay with Ben.” Armitage looked at her with panic in his eyes. He just couldn’t. What if he infected Ben? He didn’t want to cause any more problems.

“Then you’re going to die.”

Armitage chewed on his lip. “You said I wasn’t dying.”

“I know, but this is not a common cold. It has to be treated correctly. You have to stay somewhere warm and dry.” She gave him a stern look over her glasses. “Do you understand?”

Armitage nodded.


	12. The One with an Old Friend

The ride back to Ben’s flat was a silent one. This time, the radio stayed off and the only sound was Millicent’s occasional meowing. And since they were already in the car, they stopped for the antibiotics that were prescribed to Hux and for something to eat—since Ben’s fridge resembled the fortress of solitude.

Hux waited in the car with his cat while Ben browsed the aisles of the grocery store. Ben was glad that Amilyn made Hux stay with him, not only because he was ill, but also because Ben wanted to make him better. That part where Hux would fall in love with him was just an extra bonus.

It took Ben thirty minutes to buy everything that he wanted, and who could lecture him if he bought more than was strictly necessary? It was totally worth the faint spark in Hux’s eyes when Ben asked him what he wanted to have for dinner. Even though Hux’s one worded answer “Pasta” didn’t give away many clues, Ben didn’t doubt that it was for the first time in many years Hux would be able to eat what he really wanted.

 

_ Welcome home _ , Ben thought when he opened the door to his apartment. He didn’t say it aloud in case it would make Hux running, or worse – angry. “Make yourself at home.” Ben looked at his new roommate as he took off his shoes. “You can use the shower if you want, but don’t be there for too long, the doctor said it’s not good for you. I’ll prepare some clothes for you in the bedroom, all right? You’re going to sleep in the bed until you get rid of the fever. You can’t sleep on the couch. So don’t even try to talk me into it like the last time.”

Armitage, who was currently obsessively looking at a hole on his left sock, nodded. “I guess I don’t have any other choice than to listen to you.”

“I’ll make you dinner; you know where everything is.” Ben had to resist the urge to pat Hux’s shoulder. “Now go.” He waited for Hux to go to the bathroom and went to try not to burn his kitchen to the ashes.

When Armitage emerged from the bathroom in a borrowed cotton bathrobe, Ben was still in the kitchen. He could smell garlic through the whole apartment and it made his mouth water. He had only told Ben that he would like to have pasta; he didn’t want to sound needy so he hadn’t specified much. The truth was, at this point in his life, he just didn’t care. He would eat anything Ben would have to offer.

He carefully opened the bedroom door so he would not to make a sound and let Ben know that he was out of the bathroom. He only took a shower, warm enough to make his skin pink, and washed his hair. Shaving was out of the question, there was no way he would let Ben see his bare hollowed face.

Just as Ben promised, there was a pile of clothes waiting for him on the sloppily made bed. He carefully folded the robe next to it and put on everything that Ben had prepared for him. It was too big for him, but who was he to complain.

 

When Armitage was done, he sat down on the bed and looked around himself. The bedroom was nice, not exactly big and not exactly tidy, but nice enough. He laid back onto the mattress and sighed with pleasure; the mattress felt like heaven. Armitage pushed himself up so he would lie with his whole body on the bed and curled into a ball. The sheets smelled just like the shower gel he used in the shower, mixed with a faint smell of sweat and something uniquely Ben-like. He buried his nose into the pillow and closed his eyes.

He fell asleep as soon as the first tear rolled over his cheek.

 

Armitage didn’t know for how long he had slept. As he was lying with his eyes closed and felt his unconsciousness slowly slipping away, Armitage thought—for just a minute—that maybe he was dead. The warmth, which surrounded him like water, was so foreign to him, that he couldn’t understand what was happening. It was only after he had opened his eyes and saw Ben’s dark bedroom that he remembered everything that had happened that day.

He didn’t remember putting a blanket over himself, which meant Ben must have come sometime during his sleep and covered him. Armitage sat up and hugged his legs, closing his eyes once again. He was trembling all over; it couldn’t have been because of cold, it was only his psyche trying to cope with the fact that Ben came and saw him sleeping and oh-so-vulnerable.

The television was on in the living room, that much he could hear. Ben was probably watching the news or a movie, and he was probably angry with him because he cooked Armitage a dinner and Armitage slept the whole time and didn’t eat it. He must think him an ungrateful idiot. A filthy liability.  

Saying sorry was the least he could do.

And so Armitage got up from the bed, made the sheets and double checked them, and carefully opened the door to the living room.

He was right; Ben was indeed sitting on the couch and was watching something on the TV. Except not really. He held a mobile phone in his hand and was furiously moving his fingers across the screen.

“Hey,” Armitage croaked from the door and cleared his throat. Ben got so startled that his phone ended up on the floor.

“H-Hey! Hello. You’re awake,” Ben stuttered and smiled at him. “Well rested?”

Armitage nodded and took a few steps towards him. “Yes. You should have…I’m sorry. You made me a dinner. And I fell asleep.” He looked at Ben with worry, ducking his head right after.

“’T’s okay,” Ben said as he got up from the couch, “Do you want to eat it here or in the kitchen?” he asked but before Armitage could answer, Ben continued: “Screw it. Sit down and I’ll bring it here, we can watch some movies.”

Armitage mumbled a soft okay and sat down into the armchair, which was so plush it almost swallowed him whole. He watched Ben’s back in the kitchen, as he was putting the plate into the microwave, as he was just standing there, doing nothing. Armitage bit his lip, which was trembling by now.

_ Why did you make me fall in love with you? Why did you have to come back for me? Why did you have to leave me? Why did you— _

“Armie?”

Armitage’s heart nearly short-circuited. Nobody had called him that for so long that it felt like a memory from a different life.  _ You’re never gonna love me.  _ Armitage gave him a tight, close-mouthed smile that looked more like a pained grimace, and took the plate with his dinner from Ben’s hands. “Thank you,” he mumbled and nearly started crying again when his eyes drifted from Ben to the meal in front of him.

If he were honest, he didn’t think he would eat something like this ever again. He didn’t want to look too desperate and so he started eating very slowly, savouring the taste of fresh spinach and cream on his tongue.

“Is it edible?” Ben practically jumped back on the couch and put his feet on the table, missing his glass with beer by only an inch.

Armitage looked at him with disbelief. “Are you for real? This is the most delicious food I’ve eaten in years.”

Ben only smirked. “Okay, I’m glad it’s good.”

“Good?” Armitage swallowed what he had in his mouth, trying not to chew too much. “It’s…Fuck, what’s the word? Supercalifragilisticexpialido-something? You’re too kind to me, Ben, really. I don’t… I don’t really deserve any of this.” He shook his head, taking another spoonful.

“Nonsense,” Ben breathed out and turned on Netflix. “Do you remember when we talked…Do you want to watch Iron Man?”

 

The next few days went on in a haze. Ben got back to Amilyn to pick up Hux’s results, paid for another set of pills, cooked some more meals and made sure that his patient was getting enough rest and swallowed the right amount of pills. They watched a lot of television, mainly comedies because Hux didn’t want to watch anything serious. Although Ben introduced him to the Game of Thrones, Hux liked Black Books better.

Some nights Ben had to work and so he left Hux home alone with Millicent. Some nights Ben brought home sushi or the leftovers from after parties. Some nights he came home and found Hux sleeping on the couch, with the sound of Lion King playing softly from TV.

It was on nights like that when Ben turned the TV off and gathered Hux into his arms. It was on nights like that when Hux wouldn’t wake up and only nuzzle closer to Ben’s chest, breathing slowly on his neck.

It was on nights like that when Ben fell for him over and over again.

**

Armitage started feeling better two weeks later when Ben was away because it was Sunday. Armitage was taking a warm shower, thinking about when Ben was supposed to come home.

It was a little bit scary how domestic it all felt now. Him waiting for Ben to come home from work, him trying to make Ben dinner so he wouldn’t be hungry when he came back from work. But Ben was kind to him, Ben deserved it, and much more.

_ Ben. _

Ben who grew up into a large muscled man. Ben whose hands were so big they could circle Armitage’s whole mid-way. Ben who had never worn braces and had the most endearing smile Armitage had ever seen.

_ Ben. _

Armitage slowly moved his hand across his stomach, touching himself. He couldn’t stop thinking about Ben; Ben who remembered that he loved blueberries, Ben who promised he would come back for him.

Ben who was allergic to apples and hazelnuts.

Armitage hadn’t touched himself in eternity—always feeling too  _ useless _ to even try—but now, as he was standing under the warm water, smelling like Ben’s shampoo and clean, cleaner than ever, he couldn’t help the thoughts invading his mind.

He was lost.

He was damned.

He was in love.

 

Armitage had been looking at himself in the mirror for the last five minutes; Millicent licking on his wet calf. He didn’t think there was anything like getting ready to go to college, ready to get married and have your first child. Ready to go and work in your first job. Or ready to go and lose everything you own because your father is a giant arsehole.

But now, Armitage had to get ready.

Ready to face Ben.

He opened the cabinet he knew Ben kept scissors and his shaving utilities in. He saw Ben shaving not so long ago when he wanted to use the toilet. Armitage carefully took the scissors and kicked away Millie, who was getting annoying by now.

“Let’s do this,” he told his mirror-self. “Stop being a wuss.” He took a deep breath and started cutting. It wasn’t that hard to cut his own hair, even though he couldn’t see at the back of his head. It didn’t take him that long to make himself look much more presentable, even though it was hard to tell with his hair still wet. Armitage turned his head from side to side, looking for anything out of place.

Millicent meowed.

“What?” Armitage gave her a curious look. “I look like a fool, don’t I?” He sighed. “Is the hair too short?”

Another meow.

“Yeah…” Armitage turned back to the mirror. “I know.” He bit his lip and grabbed the electric razor.

He hasn’t seen his face clean shaved since he got out of jail. He didn’t know what he was expecting to see. He just hoped that the face under the beard didn’t resemble his father in any way.

**

Ben was balancing three pizza boxes in one hand and a bottle of red in the other while trying to open his apartment’s door. He couldn’t wait to take a long shower and eat something. It had been raining for two days straight and today’s evening wasn’t any different. With the walk from his car to the front door taking Ben solid two minutes, he was wet as a sewer rat when he finally got under the roof.

“I’m home!” Ben called from the hall when he took off his shoes with the help of only his feet. He shuddered when one of the raindrops got under his jacket and t-shirt. “I brought some pizza and Poe gave me a bottle of wine, so we can—“

Ben stopped short as soon as he entered the living room. The bottle of wine fell from his hand and against the living room floor.

“Holy shit,” he breathed out as he tried to remember how to breathe. There, on the couch was Armitage, sitting with Millicent on his lap, clothed in sweatpants and a black and grey striped t-shirt that was too big for his thin frame. That wouldn’t be alarming or strange in any way, if his hair wasn’t cut so short that it was now falling in gentle waves across his forehead and ended just under his ears. The most shocking thing, however, was that his beard was gone, showing a slightly flushed almost delicate face with sharp cheekbones and the pinkest lips. Oh, how Ben missed those lips.

“Oh god.” Hux jumped from the couch, he certainly didn’t expect the situation to go like that. “Are you all right?”

“Nope.” Ben shook his head, still in a daze. He was suddenly back in his old living room, sitting with the computer and staring at the photo of Armitage Hux, the businessman, clad in an expensive suit and a smirk on his face; reading about how they found his body on the bottom of the river under the Fort Pit Bridge. “No, I’m…I’m not…I need to sit down.”

“Of course.” Hux helped him to the couch. Did he really look that bad that it startled Ben so much? “I’m sorry, I should have warned you.”

“Yeah, you certainly should have,” Ben mumbled into his hand as he rubbed his face.

Hux visible flinched. “Oh, I’m…I’m sorry,” he retorted. “I know that it’s…fuck. You know what?” Hux sat away from Ben. “I thought that…I don’t know what I thought, to be honest, but I certainly didn’t think that you’re going to be such an arsehole about it!”

“What?” Ben looked at him, confused.

“There are gentler ways how to tell someone that they look like shit, you know?”

“What?”

“Stop whating me, Solo. You damn right know what!” Armitage could feel how his chest was getting tighter, he shouldn’t get so angry. His breathing system still hadn’t completely recovered. “Just…Fuck you.”

_ “You don’t look like shit, Armitage.” _ Was what Ben should have said. Instead, he remained sitting there in silence, completely frozen until he heard the bedroom door shut.

 

Everyone knows that when they make somebody sad or angry, they should go and apologise to them. Sooner better than later because it only makes all of it much easier.

Ben wasn’t one of the people who knew that.

 

Ben didn’t know why Hux wasn’t talking to him. He didn’t know why Hux let his cheeks get covered up by a bristle again. He didn’t know why the ginger man in his apartment stopped wanting to watch movies with him or why he stopped making him dinners.

What he did know was that he hated all of it.

He couldn’t get close to him, he couldn’t get under Hux’s shell and behind his walls. And so, he decided to use the only possible weapon which could help him.

Facebook.

**

It took another two days before Saturday came and with her a knocking on Ben’s apartment door. Ben was lounging by the kitchen table, drinking his afternoon dose of caffeine. “I’ll get it,” he sing-songed to no one in particular because Hux was once again closed in his bedroom. The last time Ben had seen him—when he brought Hux lunch—he was reading a book.

Ben opened the door and smiled nervously. “Hey.”

“Solo.” Came the greeting. She didn’t change much. Still, the same icing judging look in her eyes, tall as ever, blond hair cut short into a messy bob. “Where is he?”

“In the bedroom.” Ben let her in, “He’s—” he didn’t have a chance to finish because Phasma walked past him, not taking her shoes off, and went straight into Ben’s bedroom and Hux’s current lair.

 

Armitage was standing by the window and looking out at nothing in particular when he heard a knock on the door. He sighed and lowered his head. “What do you want, Ben?” He doubted that Ben finally came to his senses and wanted to apologize to him for humiliating him two days ago.

“Do you still want me to teach you how to kiss?”

Armitage could swear he nearly fainted. “Phasma!” He turned around, his vision getting dark around the edges. “What...What the—”

“Doesn’t matter.” She shook her head and took him all in. “You look like shit.”

Armitage snorted a little and went to sit on the bed. “Trust me, I know,” he mumbled and sighed when he was finally sitting. He was still feeling too weak to be on his legs for too long. Phasma was next to him in a second.

“Come here, stupid.” She drew him into her arms and hugged him tightly. “Gosh, you’re so skinny.”

Armitage threw his arms around her shoulders and hugged back. The dams in his eyes broke and fat tears started to roll from his eyes.

“What the hell happened to you, Armie? You have to tell me everything. I thought that I…That I lost you,” Phasma’s voice was breaking. Probably for the first time Armitage had ever known. “I thought that you were back in England.”

“Oh god,” Armitage sobbed when she pulled away from him. “Oh, g-god.”

Phasma pulled a tissue from the inside of her bag, which she still had on her shoulder, and gave it to him. “Here. Ssssshh…It’s okay.” She waited for him to blow his nose and pulled him back to her arms. “Ssshhh. It’s okay, I’m here now. I’m here.” She kept stroking his back.

“I thought that I…I would never see you again. Never. I—” Armitage started coughing. “Shit, I’m sorry…I’m sorry, you shouldn’t be so close to me, you shouldn’t,” he hiccupped and drew away, turning away from her as his coughing continued.  

“Armitage.” Phasma took his hand and caressed it gently. “Do you remember when I vomited all over the rug in my room and yet you stayed and cleaned it?” She smiled softly. “I won’t leave you now.”

Armitage was shaking. Phasma was here. He didn’t know how or why or where she had been all the time before but he didn’t care. She used to be his best friend. She used to be his anchor.

She deserved to know everything. Even things he didn’t tell Ben.

And so Armitage talked: about pneumonia and how Ben had found him sitting on the street in a storm. How he had taken him home and how Armitage ran away before the sunrise. About how he spend some nights in a shelter if he had enough money. About the begging on the streets so he could have said money. About how he was unemployable because he couldn’t use his ID anymore. About how he sometimes sneaked into a library so he could read textbooks that would eventually help him get his GED. About how he found Millicent in a box next to a dumpster. About how he spent years in prison after his father had him charged for a felony he hadn’t commit. About how he attended a photography club in high school and wanted to study it at University. And finally, about how he fell in love with Ben Solo all over again and how Ben broke his heart—again.

Phasma had listened to him the whole time without interrupting, quietly crying and caressing his hand, squeezing it when Armitage sobbed.

“If only I could turn back time… If I could turn back time and never fall in love with him.”


End file.
